Behind Closed Doors

About a week ago my husband shared a short bit of a book he was reading. The title was something like “52 Things Every Dad Should Give their Kids” sorry if I butchered the title (and my applause to the author whose name at this moment I don’t know). I will of course read the whole book later, when I have the chance. The piece my husband shared got me thinking. According to this book every kid needs a $1200 garage door. Now really who has a toy chest to fit that and of course there are all of the safety regulations involved. I am also pretty sure that maybe it would be a real downer for most kids to tell their friends that Santa or the Easter bunny brought them a remote control …connected to a garage door and not a gaming system. If we of course did this; something also tells me that we might be suspect in some sort of child endangerment scandal on the evening news as well. So why was I was so deeply entranced, with this tiny bit of novel; if not odd advice? We didn’t have a garage door when our oldest kids were very small and I suppose we set out on a journey to provide one to our younger kids at an earlier age than their siblings. Little did we know that this prize piece of fiberglass would be a recommended top toy pick later? Okay, really we didn’t know that we were gifting them with just the door; we were looking at the barn which it was attached to (we didn’t even know at the time, it was a gift to the kids). Our barn/garage door no different than most but our children and their friends seem to see endless uses for it. When built we had no other ideas for it other than our cars, some hay, maybe a tractor and a stall/pen or two for use when needed. It has received several make overs some of which might show from the outside; there are a few garage door dings and scratches. The secret to the gift of our garage door is what is hiding behind “door numero uno”! Across the back inside of our barn is a wall that sections off our storage. My husband and boys spent several weekends planning and working on this wall. It hides nothing more than rubber tubs. On the shelves behind the “great wall” are tubs with memories of holidays and childhood. Some are stored for the future, some are stored because someone still loves whatever is in the box and isn’t ready to part with it. Although we do weed the memory pile out from time to time, it serves as a gentle transition from childhood to adult life where our children can decide what they wish to move on with when they are ready. The wall itself is a great memory full of lessons both mental and physical (my kids know their tools!). Speaking of tools, the other side of the “great wall” is a dream in progress. The boys and their father have hopes of a fully functioning work shop someday and “the wall” will be its backboard. A lot of afternoons have been spent with in depth discussions of what should be included in this workshop someday. For now the wall serves as a space to house a grain box full of hundreds of pounds of feed and a place to put a second hand refrigerator given to us by a friend for egg overflow (the kids have chickens). In front of the grain box is a corner similar to the junk drawers we all have. Next to that is a stall that has been used for goats, chickens, ducks, pigs, cows, a nursery for whatever the kids brought home or found and on occasion a hide out or a place to “store a sibling” until mom or dad rescued them. Behind the door are signs, a screen door insert and a tangle of assorted things used for numerous “projects”; the likes of archery, rocket building and things I am not sure why they are there. This pile spills into different sections in the barn all of which are camouflaged by hay or that great gift; the “garage door”. On occasion, the refrigerator has even held the eggs it was intended for. The fridge like the project piles has served many uses. Sometimes it sits empty and other times it is full to the brim with meat (a project) or eggs (a project) or leftovers from a get together (family and friend project) or snacks for a teen dance or party. It seems that the uses for what is behind our garage door never end. It has provided space for playing in bad weather, a gym; it’s been an auto body shop, a place to sit and think and a spot to cuddle a furry friend that needed care. Since the first of the year we have transformed it into a dance hall in 20 degree weather; complete with stereo surround sound, black lights, a food bar (the great wall lined with card tables) and heat (brooder lamps and barn heaters will keep dancing teens warm too!) I have been informed that this will occur again for prom (another project). The boys had a bachelor party for their brother complete with poker, games and thanks to Mother Nature and some sleds stored in the rafters a 3am sledding party. One last childhood memory before moving on in life. In the past 30 days we have moved a calf out and two litters of tiny teacup piglets in. My grandchildren experienced the miracle of life and learned to care for things less able bodied than themselves (they are 2, 3 and almost 5yrs old). I learned that our barnyard friends should be having 3 meals a day and snacks (a grandchild pointed this out; I’ll think on it). The boys have planned movie nights and had several game nights. Last night we had a bonfire (outside) and a game night in the barn. The teens set up tables among brooding pens full of baby pigs and played board games into the wee hours of the night. Many of our youngest son’s friends along with himself are great philosophers. I was informed over breakfast this morning (several teens stayed over we got an ice storm) that cancer was cured in our barn last night in a private brainstorming session behind our barn/garage door. So no we didn’t give our kids a garage or barn door we didn't even intentionally give them the barn (we’ll maybe reclaim it someday). They sort of found it and have become great thinkers, builders, artists, friends, hosts/hostesses, poker players, auto body repairmen, more proficient in animal husbandry, gardeners, caregivers, more physically fit, and more compassionate (another blog entry sometime). Our children have learned to think for themselves, teach others, and rekindle relationships, to saddle a horse, feed a chick, mourn the loss of life and be in awe at the wonder of God’s creations. I am sure they have gained more than I ever thought they would from the gift we didn't know we gave or were supposed to give. I am glad we have paint splatters on our barn floor, a few piles of junk here & there and a ding or two on our garage door. I don’t really think the garage/barn door is actually the item we should give our children. I think that it represents what every parent should give their children; a freedom to explore, be still, to hide, live, learn and grow: all humans, I think need this. Copyright 2013 Micheline Edwards