My last entry ended with "wear your yoke with a smile; you never know who may be watching". I try to do that most of the time. This year has been a real page turner for our family. I haven't always worn a smile and last week was one of those weeks. Sometimes because we are human we fail at things despite our best efforts. While raising five children our house is often crazy. Not everyone is always pleased as we frequently roll with the majority. Last week there was no majority. It happens. Everybody wanted to get away for a few days before school started. The school year starting this fall signifies for us a major change in our household. Until now we had four of our five still living at home (most of the time). This year our daughter will be married Oct. 8th; she will be moving to Fargo N.D. Our middle son who is a pharmacy student in St. Louis got his first internship and for the most part will now reside in St.Louis full time. Our younger two are beginning their last two years of high school. The older of the two is planning on attending school at Mizzou next fall. That leaves us with one. In one years time we will go from four children at home to one. "One". Talk about a change. My husband wanted "one" last chance to get everybody together. Finances, as is the case for most families right now are tight so our options were limited. Everybody trying to be respectful of the other was reluctant to make a choice. This went on so long that we ended up upset with everybody and everything due to lack of planning. Words were said, tears cried, and emotions ran high. A lot of stress over something that was supposed to be enjoyed. We ended up pulling most of it together and had a pretty decent time. Some of us were still disappointed for one reason or the other. For me (and I believe my husband) it was not the one event that flopped but what seemed to be an end to a wonderful era of past happy times with children who were moving on. I am not a "crier". As a child I remember thinking how annoying a "crybaby woman" was. I am now "her". I have cried for no apparent reason and at any given moment for weeks now (I have also been easily upset/annoyed in general). The last few days have shed light on this. I have watched my friends who have children leaving for college become moody & cry the same way. Most of them have one child heading on to great adventures. Three in one year! really?!? How can this be? It took almost 12 years to GET them all here. I am excited for the wonderful things before them. For a parent watching your child move forward as a happy and confident young adult is an amazing process (we have one older boy as well who is married, with 3 children and in the USAF). One was hard and I went through some of these emotions. Why was I so blind sided this time. Who knows. Different children and situations; non the less it smacked me hard. I have not worn my yoke well. It happens. My friends have worn theirs adorned with neon signs of emotion as well. I was watching them. They are watching me. We are watching each other as we go through this time of wonder and change in our lives. I am blessed to have such wonderful friends to share this with. I will try for my children to keep my yoke in check; but make no promises to not be emotional or cry at a moments notice. My children will think I am crazy but my friends and God will know it is just my heart sorting out life. I am not ready for this part of my journey to change paths but it is. I need to focus, to make sure that I am just turning a corner and not driving into a ditch (last week I was sure I needed to be backed over several times & left there). Tomorrow is the first day of school for my two youngest boys. I will have a junior and a senior in high school. I will ask for God's guidance to help them be their best. I have an amazing gift that every parent is given. The gift is the ability to watch a young life unfold and take form. That is something to be watched with a smile and trusted unto our Father. I will have to have faith and enjoy my senior and all his excitement in moving on to become a young man of God. I will also trust that same faith that my junior will also excel in his school year and do amazing things. May all parents who will sending children off into the world, be it kindergarten through college; pray for each other to enjoy the journey, have faith and to watch and make sure each others yokes don't become to heavy. I will leave you with words from Romans 1:12. ~" I'm eager to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours. In this way, each of us will be a blessing to the other"~ Thanks to my friends for letting me see their yoke; you never know who will be watching.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards
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