Autumn Shade

It is the end of September and the beginning of autumn. I just ventured outside on this gorgeous fall day to take some table scraps to some of our furry farm friends. They are always so cheerful and happy to see you when you spend time with them. A pat on the head or a piece of fruit peel can make their day. I remember a time when my children were little; a lap to sit on or a cookie had the same effect. They were so greatful. As they get older, it seems that what we have to offer is just never enough. I don't know if it is their age, our society (my friends say they notice the same)or what. Pondering this thought, I headed back into the house. Nearing the side entrance that we use most often; I paused a moment to notice that our pear tree had finally gotten big enough to actually provide a decent amount of shade. I stood there in the cool of it's slowly changing, not so green leaves on this very warm September day. I listened to the birds and felt the breeze on my cheeks. I thought about how small my children had been when they helped my husband plant this tree, that now stands high above my head. The tree didn't ask to be planted but yet we did. Our children took such joy in tending this undemanding little plant. They are older now. I don't know if they even take the time to notice the fruits of their labor. It's leaves would tell us like a child's cry that it needed water, so we would water it. The tree was never demanding in fact it was often ignored or taken for granted. But here it stands thriving and tall and giving. When it speaks it speaks in quiet kindness. When it listens it hears with it's branches outstretched. When ever you go to it, there is something of wonder it shares. Maybe we should all be more like this tree, take a little less, be a little less demanding, more forgiving and stretch out our arms even when we feel someone is just using our "shade". They probably need it.

Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards.

"I DO".....Believe

It has been a while since I have had time to sit down and collect my thoughts. My daughter's approaching wedding has had an endearing hold on the family. Our middle son surprised us by asking his girlfriend to be his "forever love" this past weekend. So much excitement for sure. My daughter in law "to be" announced as she approached me with her ring, "You get to keep me!". We are thrilled. Our daughter is winding down her planning. In about two weeks she will finalize the next step in her life; to be her fiance's "help meet" for the rest of her adult life. I used the words "help meet" (meet not mate) because that is what a spouse is. Someone to help you through life, to share the good, the bad and to meet you halfway (or beyond if needed). To always be there for you. I learned this term a few years ago from a book I read by Debi Pearl ("Created to be his Help Meet"; highly recommend...it will be a "love it, hate it, read). Our society has this image perpetuated by media and unrealistic ideas of how marriage should be. Our girls are brought up with fairy tale dreams of a prince on a white horse (or nice sports car) and moving into the castle with a white picket fence(or a 4bd/3bth on the upper east side)and living happily ever after. Have you ever noticed that there aren't many accounts of what actually happens in that castle after the very unrealistic wedding ceremony where everybody in the land comes and wishes them well? You know when "princie boy" breaks great grandma's china accidentally or "princess" dents the sports car etc...Probably because it might have a way of turning "Prince Charming or Cinderella" into a real person. Reality isn't always fun or pretty. Momma never told me that a prince could have gas, leave his dirty dishes on the floor, not mow the lawn, snore and leave the lid up or forget to pay a bills. Daddy never tells his sons, your princess will sometimes have razor sharp barbs on her legs, not always cook you dinner, buy lots of shoes (more than anyone could ever wear) spend your paycheck on unnecessary kitchen & bath things, or she will turn into a witch once a month. Parents also don't tell their children that married life is an amazing journey to be compared with non other (except maybe parenting) but that it is riddled along the way with a hefty dose of budgeting, eating things you never thought would grace your table and the melting of two families into one. They never tell their children how hard it is to sometimes agree on everything from breakfast & spanking, to religion & politics. The subjects of your spouse may die, cheat (yes, it happens), lose/quit their jobs or not be who you thought is rarely discussed at the "pre" wedded bliss celebrations. "Learning to forgive 101" should be mandatory for all newlyweds. Mothers rarely have the "birds and bees" discussion (which by the way; this info can be easily obtained.) Whats all the hype about this and not the important stuff? Our society brings this up regularly. This subject is joked about and talked about all the time. What about the topic of what happens after the fairy tale wedding, the princess dress & honeymoon, when a few years later you can't pay your gas bill? This folks is real, it happens. It is not like every married person hasn't wakened up next to their spouse from time to time (or for extended periods of time) and said to themselves, "I am thinking my spouse would look better in a paper bag on a shelf today" or "WHO is this person in my bed?". What then makes us want to be married? Why do we encourage our children, friends, siblings and even parents to marry? The obvious answer according to today's media, would most likely be because we all have a fairy tale we want to come true. But what is the root of this continuously recreated scenario of illusion? Is it ignorance? Lack of adequate material that says, "Whoa!!!" "Why in heaven's name would you want to spend your life with a hairy, snoring person who will make you at times hate him/her and sometimes make you question your sanity? Why? I don't KNOW why but I "believe" this. The first reason is that we "DO BELIEVE". We all want to have faith that someone is there for us, no matter what. We all want a shoulder there when we need it. None of us want to be alone, like it or not we are "pack animals". We need help in our day to day lives; even if we don't always like that help or want it. Everybody wants someone who will be brutally honest to the point of sometimes causing your emotions to overheat; it makes us think deeply about the cares/ideas of others. Ladies you don't want to hear it, but you all know that if the dress makes your butt look big; wouldn't you rather have someone who loves you unconditionally say so before you go out in public in it? When you are sick, troubled, grieving or can't figure out finances isn't easier to share that load with someone who you love? The list could go on and on... as Christians we are taught the importance of sharing the load. Why do we get married? is it the $5000 white dress? the 2 carat ring? the perfect kids(a topic for later discussion Lol)? having eye candy that your sorority sisters envy on your arm? to change your status quo? Happiness for ever and always (not happening). I hope not any of these. If your reasons for marriage are OR were placed in those previous categories: You have been sold a bridge in the dessert. You have bought the lie that society has sold you and at a very high price; you will pay dearly for it again and again. Marriage is a sacred institution not to be entered into lightly, it is to be guarded by both parties. You are bound by God and held in HIS hands during the entire journey. You should be prepared to love, honor and cherish your spouse no matter what he or she looks like or does. You may be angry or even feel hatred at times, that is human nature; work through it. Your reward??? Why do we do it??? Because; next to our relationship with God this will be our most sacred union in life. Your spouse will be the one who holds your hand, walks by your side and is there more years than just about anybody in your life (even your parents and children sometimes). He or she will know and be guarded with your most intimate secrets and share your joys. Marriage is hard it is not an Ozzie and Harriet scene it is life at it's best if you know what is ahead of you. Life in the "castle" can be grand but not the type of grandeur our society tells us it is. It is better.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

Life & "Soggy" Cantaloupes

We've spent the last week packing, moving and rearranging things to send an eclectic assortment of household furnishings and such with my daughter to her new home. Part of this process is sad. Some of it (okay a lot of it) has worn us out both physically and mentally. Most of this "purge" of things going to start a new life is very exciting. I like the idea of my husbands and my first table going to our daughters home. I had my first meals as a newlywed there. I love that this furniture will be experiencing new life again. I have enjoyed spending time with numerous grandparents sorting through family treasures (and some new finds as well) to get our daughter and her love started in their journey together. All of this has had me contemplating the purpose of life; not just as a Christian but as a human. I have spend so much of my life watching this process unfold. Sometimes I was so busy, I failed to realize that I was in the middle of this great journey myself. As a child I remember the first time I was vividly aware of new life was when my brother was born. The following summer my friend and I spent weeks sitting in the playhouse my father had made. We enjoyed hours sewing scraps of "foraged" fabric together for a quilt. This quilt was the product of our hands and a lot of love; it was also probably the funniest looking thing ever; with it's odd colors, multi sized stitching, tacky seventies prints & pink velvet edges. The hand sewn childlike quilt was a gift for my soon to be new baby brother or sister. I soon realized at eight years old how fragile life was. I didn't know how someone I never met or was even "visible" could die. I remember my friend and I taking our gift all boxed up to my mother. I guess, in my child like mind I figured that maybe if she had the quilt the baby would come back to use it. Of course that never happened. I spent my childhood summers gardening; planting seeds, weeding things out, working hard and watching the plants produce fruit. I knew my father told me if you don't pick the "fruit" the plants will stop producing it. My girlfriend and I were also master "transplanters". We would find anything in the woods or at the side of the road that we thought was an attractive plant and bring it back home to be planted in our playhouse garden. I grew up on a small farm and marveled at waking up to a new colt in the field or a fluffy chick in the hen house. We always had puppies, kittens and the like. Some of them were "transplants or repurposed" pets that got left at our place. What joy they brought. We watched them grow, loved them and then like all things they went on their earthly way. This morning I pulled out a cantaloupe from the veggie drawer in our fridge. We have had a nice amount of these from our garden this year. With summer coming to an end, the plants have begun to slow; much as we all do. So, I was saving this cantaloupe for the weekend. Note to self... next time use your resources when they are there. I am now hoping to find another one in the garden when I go out in a bit. This silly piece of fruit caused me ponder that we too are like the garden vines. We are planted or we plant. We grow and we watch growth. Most of us hope to reproduce and wish for our seeds to carry on that tradition when they mature. A vine in the garden is there for the soul purpose of reproducing its self. If we harvest and the sun and weather permits some will produce for years. Others have but a single season and only one harvest. Some of us get "transplanted or repurposed"; a blessing for sure. Sending my daughter out with things that I used and enjoyed and some of them her grandparents did; gives these lifeless objects "new life". We as humans always seem to be chasing our own life so much. I personally always feel as though by the time I catch one "era" the next is already upon me. It is like the puppy in the grass that can't catch his tail. Plants and animals seem to have a much more direct path. "Be planted", grow, reproduce, and die. Humans have so much "stuffed in between" these four phases. I am at one of those "stuffed in between" cross roads. I am staring at my wasted cantaloupe. yes, my mind sometimes works in weird ways. I realize that as my children grow and move on; this is a chance to grow some more, even though I thought I was done "growing". This is a season for my husband and I to "produce" things in a new and different way. There will be work ahead of us; like the gardens of our past. I am hoping that this time maybe things will slow down just a bit and allow us to actually breathe in the essence of the past and the freshness of the future. Whether we are ready to be transplanted in the world it is happening. God has given us a gift that plant, animals (and some humans) don't always have. This gift is the ability to take all that we have been given and given to others and reshape it into a beautiful (and hopefully slower paced) second (or third etc) go around in life. I think this time I will always use the cantaloupe in its peak, enjoying its aroma, and flavor. Some gifts only appear once, maybe twice. Go out and enjoy life in what ever phase you are in. Some things like the kitchen table get repurposed most do not. Embrace what is before you, while things are still fresh. Don't be a "soggy" cantaloupe.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards