Mother's Summer's and Time

Mother’s, Summer’s and Time. May is the month in our faith where we honor our holy mother Mary and mothers everywhere. We celebrate the hard choices and sometimes tough days a mother puts in. We pray for thankfulness for our mothers and for Mary our heavenly Mother. Mother’s Day was yesterday and the end of the school year is fast approaching. When my children were small Mother’s Day was one of those days I would always wish for a much anticipated break. I was so tired. We frequently would spend the day taking the children to Worlds of Fun; a tradition that started when we lived up in northern Missouri. We were a young family and funds were tight. The amusement park would always offer “Mom’s get in free” on Mother’s Day. So it was the “best little vacation” we could afford (Bonus, our only child at the time, got in free). As we added children the trips continued and became a much expected family time. We moved back home and the drive was long (now 4 hours) but we still tried to go at least once a year. It was so much fun but so much stress and work for my husband and I to take all five peeps on this or any other excursion. Mother’s Day was awesome but hardly quiet or restful! School letting out for the summer always provoked comments from friends such as “only a few more days of quiet, then the kids will be home all summer”. In our house this wasn't the case as our children were already home, because we chose to home educate. During the school year we had a set routine and schedule we tried to follow during the day so the “I’m bored” and “what are we going to do today” were kept at bay. Keeping this schedule was often tiring. At the end of the day I was worn out from being Mom, teacher, housekeeper, cafeteria lady and sometimes the principal (although I did attempt to push the last one off on my husband whenever possible’ haha). I often would get dinner on the table just in time to leave to go teach classes or deliver a baby (which more often than not involved being up all night). When summer rolled around I was relieved we could plan our “Field Trip Friday” any day of the week or just do nothing during the day. I cherished those hot lazy afternoons. The children sometimes got cranky or whiny but from the years that had already gone by I was realizing just how fast time flies with parenthood. The children returning to school would have parents counting down the days till the house was quiet again. Not me; my house would not be quiet in fall nor would it be empty. Maybe more structured, busier, but always anticipated. As the children returned to routines we would also with five children load up on the biggest dose of little league style sports ever. Oh my how we wished for a weekend without 8-10 soccer games! There were some weekends we simply prayed that all the kids actually played in the same town so we didn't have to manage two car loads going 2-3 hours away in different directions. Sometimes we even ended up sending a third child with a friend in yet another direction. The past few years have slowly wound this pattern in life down for us. The last school or extracurricular activity we will ever attend as parents was this past weekend. What will we do with open weekends this fall! I am sure we will; or our now college age children, will come up with some amazing time fillers. What mother or father doesn't yearn for some peace and quiet? This Mother’s Day four of our five children were away from home. The one child home did manage to fill our home with the joy and the laughter of several teens. We hosted the post prom party and several stayed till well after breakfast and into Mother’s day. Quiet no, different yes. Later in the day as we sat down to dinner just my husband, my son and I; it was quiet. Not sure how I feel about this yet (haha). When I used to teach parenting classes we would talk about those first precious weeks. I would tell the new mothers that they would dream of sleep if only they could actually get some sleep! I would tell them how they would get up in the morning and sit in a bathrobe nursing/rocking a baby. As the day would go along they would be doing much of the same. At some point they would be dreaming of a hot shower (as a parent, you often don't get one... even when the day is done). At the end of the day you will be found still in your bathrobe in a rocking chair and without a shower. You will try to rationalize this with yourself and even attempt to explain to your husband or others why this occurred. You sat all day or so it seemed. Somebody did make dinner, do the dishes, care for the baby, wash tons of baby laundry and maybe even “gasp” leave the house in their disheveled condition (you knew you smelled like spit up and sour milk but had to go)! You know you did do something besides sit in a rocking chair and change diapers; but what you’re so tired your mind draws a blank. During times like this and others throughout parenthood we often think, “will I ever get to sleep in or shower” (and other things we dream of getting done). You settle into this routine and take it for granted. Suddenly you get up one morning and go to hold and rock your baby and he crawls off your lap. You pick him up and he screams to get down. At first you are excited. You get that “hot” cup of coffee you were yearning for and sit down. Joy ensues when there is more in you, than on you for the first time in weeks or months! You finish the coffee and pick up the baby. The earlier situation repeats; in that one instant you know just how special (trying for sure but…) precious those fleeting moments of parenthood really are. These types of moments will repeat themselves over and over. Some parents learn faster than others and quickly begin to savor every moment. Other parents don’t ever really get it till their children are grown and yet a scant few will never get it. How sad for them. I always told the new mothers it will seem as though this phase (the rocking chair stage) will never end but in reality it ends all too soon. Don’t ever pass up a moment when you can do something with your child. There will be lots of time later when they are grown when you may be alone and in the quiet. On those days you will wish you could enjoy your child’s voice in your home. You will want the noisy family trip on Mother’s Day and maybe even give anything to know that school will be out in a few days and those noisy, sticky, dirty little (or large) feet will be running a muck through your home. Older people especially grandparents know this life lesson well. How blessed you and your children will be to learn it early. How sad it is to have a child overhear a parent say “I dread summer vacation with the kids’ home all summer”. We always try to plan a special something when school gets out, even if just an ice cream date the first day of summer. I will be taking my high school senior on his “last” (although I hope it won’t be) “summer vacation kick off ice cream date” next week; I can’t wait! Let your child know you cherish the months ahead with them. They will in return cherish you. Copyright 2013 Micheline Edwards The photo of me and the baby, is me on my First Mother's day with my oldest son. The photo of the grown man handing a baby frog to the little boy is my oldest with his son sharing a simple moment. The others are some things we have enjoyed in summers past. Activities don't need to be expensive or complicated your children just want to "DO....... WITH YOU".