The One Dollar Christmas Challenge...(are you in?)

“In all the work you are doing, work the best you can. Work as though you were doing it for the Lord, not for people” ~ Colossians 3:23 You cannot change the world you say; but you can make a difference in someone’s day. This entry will be short but hopefully make a big impact. Everywhere we look, there are dollar stores, dollar menus, dollar sales and dollar bargins. Between now and Christmas I am challenging everyone to take at least one dollar (or more if you have it) and randomly change someone’s day with it. You can’t afford to feed the masses but you can buy a cup of coffee or a treat for a tired mom or worn out soul. A sandwich for the hungry, a bag of cough drops, a cup of tea for someone you see doesn't feel well. You can offer a child a dollar to help them with their Christmas shopping. Take a stranger a candy bar. Whatever you feel is right in the moment. Try to pick the random and unsuspecting. You might even find this sort of challenge addicting maybe continue throughout the year. Maybe you have twenty dollars (or more) you could spread cheer to twenty people or you could pay for someone’s groceries, gas or Christmas gifts. I challenge everyone to create a dollar sensation of their own at least once between now and Christmas. (I would love to know how you spent your dollar please share here on the blog comments). So what will be on your "Dollar Menu" today? “Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels”. ~ Hebrews 13:2 Copyright 2014 Micheline Edwards

Satisfaction Guaranteed

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you: I will take your heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” ~ Ezekiel 36:26 “I just spent the afternoon cleaning & baking” (“must be nice”) , “I would love to help with that” (“ I would but I’ve got a life”), “ I just had my best morning at the gym” (“someone has too much spare time”), “look what I did!!!” (“When I retire”), “Would you like to go to lunch?” (“no money, not working; this mommy puts her kiddos first”; snicker, snicker). Why do we as women do these things to each other: why are we so snide? I too have been guilty and probably will be again. In the moment when a friend expresses joy: maybe we haven’t quite had a stellar day, week or month our first response is to sarcastically tear down the happiness of someone else. Why can’t we embrace that a friend got to spend the day baking, wants to help, got to work out, did something wonderful or wants to spend time with us? I guess we are on a deeper level, usually happy for our friends. Why can’t our initial response be one of grace (I know THAT word again). Why can’t we just smile and say “awesome, way to go, I’d love too, please and thank you”. Because we are human, we want what we don’t/can’t have and we want what we see even if it never crossed our minds before that moment. Are we any better than our three year old self? I would like to think that 20, 30, 40, 50+ years of living and even being the recipient of such responses would have taught us to stop. Did you really sit around all day yesterday thinking “wow, I really wish I could spend all day baking and cleaning”? Probably on most days you did not. Did you actually want to go to lunch but it just wasn't in your budget? Or was there some other reason? Why would you word your response (and so quickly too; like we have hate waiting to roll off the tongue) so that it stings another? Jealously… Yes, I said it we are all jealous creatures despite our best efforts. We covet stuff, we emulate others and get angry when we are copied (flattery you say…phsst nobody likes it but we all do it). Why? Well partly because we are human and partly due to our need to fit in and to create images of how things should be in our perfect world. The world is rarely perfect and like the T.V. images we see and know are not real: often ‘the show” in our head is not either. It never occurs to us that our friend who spent the day cooking and cleaning was worn out and maybe she was stocking up meals for next week because her life wasn’t perfect either. When our friend says she cooked and cleaned all day; we see June Cleaver not a tired mom in a bath robe all day struggling with 3 kids and a part time job trying to get ahead. Maybe your friend did have a great day, we should be so grounded to rejoice in her achievement, alas most of the time we are not. We all want that perfect image we see in our head and when we hear something that sounds like someone else has it all together while we are struggling our first response is usually to tear them down. We are jealous, hurts to admit it doesn’t it? We covet our neighbors successes, we all want clean houses, the perfect daytime job (be it motherhood or corporate), time at the gym or to go to lunch, to volunteer and help others and to have a great meal on the table at the end of the day. When we fall short of our visions we become insecure and insecurity breeds contempt. With contempt and jealousy in our lives we are not gracious or thankful for our own world; all we see is greener pastures. This month is November, a time when most of us are going to say we are thankful for what we have. I am challenging my friends to not just say but to show their thankfulness. Be kind in your words; tell your friends (or those not your friends) how wonderful what they did really is. Tell someone how amazing it is that they are here, how beautiful they are or how valuable their time is. Hug someone, show support and kindness to each other. Tell your friend you are so happy for their accomplishments even if you didn’t reach your goal that day. Before you tear down your friend without thinking say “Wow, you are great I am so thankful for you”. Find your gracious side and it will come back to you in abundance. In my last post I wrote about using grace as a road to navigate life. Your road becomes gold when you do not steal from others but add to their journey. Micheline Edwards copyright 2014 “I have learned to be satisfied with the things I have and with everything that happens. I know how to live when I am poor and I know how to live when I have plenty. I have learned the secret of being happy at any time in everything that happens...I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength. ~Philippians 4:11-13

Motherhood (Parenthood), Tangles and Grace

Almost 30 years ago this week my life changed forever. Okay to be fair that actually occurred approximately nine months prior to being handed a tiny bundle. Becoming a parent happened during some moment of unsuspecting activity that unannounced to me at the time would forever continually change the way I viewed everything the rest of my life. This change in my status would steer every decision I would make; every dollar I would spend, every breath I took and quite frankly cause me to consider not just myself but how my actions would impact others in my life. I seriously underestimated that the steering wheel for life as I knew it was now on auto pilot but yet I would somehow be responsible even if I didn't purposely drive in to the storm. Like Mary who said "yes" to God, when he presented her with the proposition of motherhood. Mary could not have even imagined where her life was going. We as parents we have no idea what ride awaits us. I often find myself thinking about where I am in life and where I am going and sitting here in a tiny airport in Fargo North Dakota while waiting for a delayed flight gave me plenty of time to ponder this. Most of my journey so far has been largely made up of being a caregiver. Even as a teen I spent many hours doing childcare, driving siblings, shopping for or transporting my mother and then moving directly on to parenthood. Time spent on what I wanted vs what others needed was always a collision in my head; a set of compromises. Life is full of these instances at every turn (even if you are not a parent), learning to manage what you want out of life while still being gracious and caring for others thoughts, dreams and needs. Often our dreams are not met; the ideal visions in our minds are not what life deals us. So often in life we are driving along see a fork in the road and even with our best efforts to go one way; a higher power grabs our wheel and takes us another direction down an unknown dirt road. Dirt roads are messy; there is dust, noise, our hair gets blown into tangles and it can sometimes be boring. Sometimes there is a party at the end and often it is just a long drive with another turn coming. Often dirt roads are like life when we look back and the dust settles we realize that the ride was a beautiful drive and we wish we had driven slower and enjoyed the smells, the grit in our teeth and the breeze in our hair. I had the interesting privilege to attend a moms group this week. I use the words interesting because, I have attended many of these meetings over the years and this proved to be an interesting and enlightening experience. Interesting was a key word this time. This time I was simply a guest, a fly on the wall but with a voice. I was the mother who wasn't changing diapers, cleaning toys and struggling with identity. I sat there and listened to the voices in the room but was hearing myself as a younger mother. Hearing the struggles I often thought were due to my lack of options; yes moms often feel trapped even if they love their children. Hearing words that I would have uttered not so long ago. Sitting there I wanted to scream, to tell these young women to savor every mess they cleaned, every tear they wiped and to stop second guessing their choices and decisions. I wanted them to know that the dirt road they were on was messy but the best one they would ever drive on and that there would eventually be a turn. At that next turn there would still be great roads ahead but this was the BEST one, the slowest, dirtiest, most hair tangling one, that sometimes went on for days with no end in sight. I wanted them to drive slower and smell the air around them. I wanted them to see the gift of grace in the everyday; the good, the bad, the plans executed flawlessly as well as the failures. I realized over the years that while your visual of things doesn't always match up with what you get handed, there are no failures in life only lessons that allow us to discover grace. Grace isn't just the giving or the taking (or even the thanks we receive for a job well done) but it is the navigation system you use along the way. Grace is surely the gift of giving: but is also how you navigate not getting your way, receiving compensation or seeing the whole picture. It is undeniably your ability to move through life with a glad heart. I sat there at the round table that night and listened to these young mothers. I realized that my answers to the questions they were seeking truth in; were drastically different than they would have been when I in their respective places. My truth, my honest heart is to put grace above my wants or the vision in my mind of perfection and to be in the moment. My answers to them were to savor each moment, and every dent or tangle they receive along the way. God did not design us to be pictures of perfection but to be human. It is in our nature to question, have free will and we as well as those around us will fail or be questioned. Often we self-inflict. Young mothers and young fathers don't question who you are, what you are doing or how you arrived there. Enjoy the ride, learn from the past and leave no regrets. Be gracious in your pursuits of joy as everyone around you is on the same journey. Copyright 2014 Micheline Edwards

Giving Outward… So as I sit here looking out my kitchen window I realize just how fast the first part of our new year has flown by. We have already said our resolutions and most of us broken them and or started them over several times. We have looked for the ground hog and sent love to those we care about. As we begin the first week of March the Mardi gras celebrations and the parties that surround Fat Tuesday are in full swing. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. We are called to begin another Lenten journey which will end on Holy Thursday as we celebrate the Lords supper and His rising again on Easter. As a Catholic I am called as others in my faith to observe certain practices ranging from prayer, fasting, penance and attendance at certain Mass’ as well as the calling of us to partake in almsgiving. Over the years I have written several takes on this. Today as I observe the ones I love going through different things in their lives, some experiencing joy and others sorrow. I feel a calling of not only giving but sharing and change. A few weeks ago I had a non-Catholic friend make a reference about how she was in church where she thought she should be feeling the most secure with the problems facing her but yet she felt as though she could do nothing other than cry. “Why is it,” she asked, “where you feel as though you should be most secure you feel so alone?” I wanted to tell her that her feelings were not those of being alone but those like a small child often has when they break down with a parent or loved one. They were the feelings of being able to let your guard down around those who you feel the safest but these feeling are often very humbling as well. Those feelings she was having were the presence of our Lord when she needed him. Often when this occurs we do not see or feel it that way. At times we are all like the tired or ill child that causes strife to those who love him most. We are often left only with anger or sadness. As a Catholic we often spend time with Our Father alone or in groups but in silent prayer or petitions in a practice we call Adoration. It is a time that we go and sit alone with our thoughts and get to know God. We pray for intercession, thanks, peace and understanding. We search during these times to know Him at a deeper level. Usually during Lent our family practice is not to give up soda or coffee or to turn the TV off but to “give” for the 40 days preceding Easter. Our society leads us to believe that this is to “give up” and maybe even heavy our hearts with burden. I feel that we are not being asked to give up material objects or practices just to give away something or to do without. It is not just to give up but to “give outward”. We usually clean out closets and such and give to charities during this time but this year (and I will probably do this still). This year I feel a calling to “give outward” and lead. Tomorrow is day one of Lent and I haven’t decided my plan of execution yet, but God will provide me with a plan. The purpose of giving up during this time is to grow in Christ and leaving cheese off of my grilled sandwich just doesn't seem adequate. Maybe I will start by inviting a friend to Adoration. Maybe that friend goes regularly maybe not. Maybe that friend will be Catholic maybe not. Maybe that friend will go with an open mind and in the quietness of the church they will hear Gods voice. If they leave with their hearts open and their minds calm they will know He was there. What better way to give, than to help a friend or someone in need than to extend a hand as they humble themselves before Christ. How precious to receive the gift of hearing Gods voice and knowing He is there. Such a gift is grace and grace is the foundation for giving. In Lent this year, “let’s not give up but make our choices so that we may give outward to others” and become better than we have been and grow deeper in our relationship with Christ.......

The Greatest of Loves

Happy February to all of you passionate people out there, I hope your Valentine’s Day was amazing. With love being the theme for the month I did some serious soul searching to narrow down what was on my mind. It started with a trip earlier in the month with a friend to work on her daughter’s wedding. Later I mixed things up in my head with thoughts of my parent’s upcoming 50th wedding anniversary. While shopping for this and that at the local hobby store we found hundreds of beautiful items and suggestions for celebrating the momentous event where two people manage to meet and gaze into each other’s eyes and spend some great date time. All of this is usually done in all their Sunday best attitudes and apparel; not too messy. A few months down the road after thinking this is the cat’s pajamas they decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Everybody cheers and congratulates them for “learning to love another” and they skip off to ever after. The start of ever after usually involves a big party,multitudes of flowers and lace, tuxes, fancy dresses, lots of food, dancing and lots money. It involves photos to preserve the moment for all eternity. In our circle it also usually involves a promise made before God. This promise is one neither party can truly grasp the meaning of until they have been married for many years. We send them on their way with well wishes. As I shopped for wedding things with my friend I remembered I needed to start planning for my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary. I wandered down to the silver (25yrs) and Golden (50yrs) matrimonial section of party central. Sadness came over my heart as I noticed that as a society we spend more time, energy and resource on celebrating a lifetime of love BEFORE it really starts than to celebrate with great joy the amazing lifetime commitment of those who have actually honored their vows before God, mopped up puke on holidays, held hand during the birth of new life, cried together as they said goodbye to loved ones and watched each other go from the sexy youngster they gazed at originally to a person who is wiser, gray and more wrinkled. In the section for these celebrations there were just a couple of silly plastic twenty five and fifties along with some token crap (forgive the term but it was crap). I decided to look other places later on. What I found was the same crap, usually more or less of it but nothing of great beauty or joy like you found in the wedding section.The cheap plastic crap began to symbolize the lack of importance that spending a lifetime with someone should hold. So here is what I began to think what if when a couple got married we said, "Hey this is great! Congratulations on making your decision; to try to accomplish, knowing one of the greatest of loves. Let us know when we can start planning your 25th or 50th wedding anniversary. We are so happy for you it will be a journey of a lifetime". What if the big reception was thrown in honor of actually achieving a lifetime of commitment to another and still knowing (most days anyway) that your life would be so much less without that person. What if upon an engagement a young couple spent years planning THIS big event taking careful notes of what was important or meaningful to the other. What if the dinner served was her Sunday pot-roast he loved for 50 years, prepared by their children and all their friends shared this special treat. What if the flowers were chosen because he brought them to her after each of their children was born. What if the vows were renewed and this time the couple knew the meanings of for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. What if there was substance to the celebration and it was something that was anticipated and looked forward too for many years? What if as the celebration occurred the couple thought back on all the good times and bad and knew that they had really...really gone the distance. How much sweeter this special day would be. So much more special even than the wedding that is really just a firm starting ground. In our society we would never allow a graduation to take place before the education. We wouldn't give a trophy before the game ended. Yet in the institute of Holy matrimony we do just that. How many of us would finish anything if the prize, graduation, desert came first? If we were promised a desert, without finishing the meal? Would some of us even make an effort when the main dish was hard to swallow? Maybe we should put less into the start of marriage, more into building and succeeding in it and celebrate joyfully at a lifetime of accomplishment. There are only really a few really great loves in our life most of the time it takes us many years to recognize these for what they are; although some occur at an intimate starting block instantly. The love of our Lord, the relationship we have with our parents, our spouse, children, grandchildren and siblings. Some of us grow to love extended family and friends how blessed we are when we can add these to our love box. The greatest loves are the ones we build upon, struggle with, breakdown and rebuild with purpose to gain a stronger tie to someone we care deeply about. Those loves deserve; in my opinion the grandest of celebrations when they occur. (the photo below is of our 25th anniversary a couple of years ago when we finally got to go on our honeymoon; I know we appreciated that time together so much more now than we would have at the start) Copyright2014 Micheline Edwards