The Grains are Shifting.....

 My home based friends/moms will get this... and this isn't meant to offend anyone but to express what has been on my mind and sometimes heavy on my heart for years.
Here is a positive I've found during this current situation ... for years I have always felt like homeschooling, working from home, gardening, cooking dinner or baking bread )all the things I often did during the week) was something many others viewed as odd about me.
I mean... obviously I still did me hahaha... My whole blog for years has been about doing what works or is right for you.

Comments like "I wish I could just lounge around all day" , when I worked but from my kitchen table.
or "I wish I could afford to stay home"... For the record just like many of you now.. I am earning an income and at the times I did not we chose to sacrifice to care for a loved on or child.
Once somebody said to me in reference to home schooling; "We are so sorry you have to do this", Excuse the expression but wth?  We choose to do this!

When I was crafty, thrifty (we had 5 kids) or spent the afternoon baking or making someone smile; comments like calling me Martha Stewart with snickers or saying "I wish I had that much time on my hands" can often be hurtful.
I dismissed these in general there were some who are repeat offenders so you know who you are.
Back to the positive.... If you need help adjusting to answering calls, typing reports, teaching kids, cooking dinner and keeping your family happy, fed and joyful (at home): all at the same time. Multitasking is my game.

I have run not one but several successful businesses with five small children running around and often on a very very tight budget (for years my husband was in grad school and a teacher). By the way, he thinks I am being a tad harsh.

 I get it we did not just start being home based overnight and neither will you. It takes trial and error to find your mojo, but you will. 

You have to give up your traditional way of thinking about everything and do what works for you. #lifecoaching

The past week has been SOOOO productive because I haven't gotten the, "well you were at home, so we just assumed you weren't busy tasks handed to me"

I have been training for this for 30 years ask me I am happy to help. REALLY!! I AM :

First time in over 25 years I didn't feel defensive about being home based  #soliberating #livevibrantly
Any other women out there feel like this is your time to shine!?!?
#justsaying #rockingthis #feelingempowered #fivechildrenandafarm #imaginethepossibilites #ridiculouslyamazinglife

This situation may change the way the entire world functions and some of us might be feeling like we were just given a head start.

For some insight on living from within, with family all around;

check out my blog "Five Children and a Farm" This could be the most amazing thing that has ever happened to you!!!!!
"You know not the plans I have for you"

Finding Gratitude in the Least Expected Places...

Today the forth Sunday in Lent I started this post yesterday but couldn't finish it.

In our readings today we are asked to sacrifice. to give up something that will shake up our lives in an undeniable way to create a strength and type of faith in us that has no compare.

“For it is love I desire, not sacrifice and knowledge of God like burnt offerings ~Hosea 6:5

This week and the last 2 days were very time intensive and stressful for me. My mother is losing ground and we finally needed to transfer her to the hospital for a while. She was stabilized and sent back to the residential care facility due to the current situation. We are closely monitoring her health the best we can using the staff to be our eyes, ears and our hands-on love.

I am telling you all this to allow you to take a few minutes to realize your blessings during this time of unrest.

I had a few hours where I could be with my mother. I had to come to the reality that those might be our last moments in this world together. Going through grief processing and yet also praying that things don't end with her alone (lock-down for safety where her care is)

We prayed and sang a bit. Her beautiful voice was broken and soft, her words were mostly non understandable. There was fear in her eyes, but I could see by her facial expressions that the music gave her calm. Singing and music have always been my mother’s language of choice especially more so as dementia crept in.

 We listened to “Hail Mary, Gentle Woman” so many times that night. I laid my phone by her ear on full volume so she could hear it: it is still playing in my head this Sunday afternoon as I edit this. I am surprised they didn’t ask me to turn it down, but the staff knew.

Several times I needed to turn away, so she didn't see my tears: as to not frighten her any more than she already was. She has a lot of fear and anxiety in good situations and always has.

My mother thinks we are at war. The irony is we are; but with an enemy we cannot contain. really her only audible words were of concern for my oldest son who is in the military.  Even in this darkest moment, her love for others was unwavering.

I was able to video just a bit of this for him.

I kissed her, I held her, I pray this wasn't the end but tried to be realistic and cover all of my bases as though it was. I always believe regret is a dark whole to be avoided when possible. As they rolled her into the transport van, I realized that this was probably the end of our earthly relationship as we knew it.

It has taken me a bit to be able to internalize and articulate gratitude for this situation. To have gratitude for those very few hours and for this moment.

So many of us never get final goodbyes. I remember speaking with a friend of mine years ago in her final days. the conversation was very open. she was sad but also felt blessed to be able to prepare her children, let them know how loved they are and take care of details. She has been gone many years but Lisa your words gave me strength and were a gift Friday night. Thank you. Thank you to her family for including so many in their journey. We are all better because of the walk you shared.

I come to all of you as we face lock downs and fear to look for lessons and gratitude where you can find it.

 I will end with "Trust in the Lord"

Micheline Edwards (c) 2020

Save Your Salty Sparkle for Later... Now is not the time to Share.

Are You Like Spilled Salt & Glitter?

Sparkle all You want from your own space....This morning while having a chat with a dear friend in Italy. We were discussing how blessed we currently feel. We both have our health, a home and space to walk safely even though there are restraints. Anxiety and fear are high for many right now.

Freedom in our country is a most valuable and wonderful thing. It is something that in many never experience in some places on earth. It is because of its spectacular value and importance that we covet it with such strong convictions. Are strong ideals and open speech combined with our freewill granted by God create a sense of strong will, determination, sass and entitlement. This could be why in other nations we are not thought of fondly. This is the foundation by which we were founded and have continued to prosper.

In my lifetime and certainly not in my children’s lifetime we have never been asked to do something of such great magnitude as a mass quarantine, against our will. Our neighbors are fearful of losing what they hold dear. They are afraid for their health, their safety and their freedom to speak and choose.

Our freedom while of epic value and not to be taken for granted or squandered is also something that stands in the way of creating us great loss right now. 

We have within our power the supplies (if we do not consume with greed), the space, the shelter and the medical care to ride out this storm.

We have been championed by other places in the world for our swift actions and the ability to stop the current issue in its tracks. We started out ahead of the game, with potential to nip things in the bud but are losing ground quickly. So why is this so hard? 

The reason is because we have freedom.

Our virtue has become our vice.

Freedom is a wonderful thing. Right now our freedom to do what we choose, when we choose and how we wish, is being threatened. This is a temporary inconvenience, but our fear responses are on high alert and many of us just can’t comply. Many are staying home; their fear is telling them to hide in their burrows till mamma bear calls the all clear.  The rest are running around like town crier and leaving an invisible but very damaging mess in their footprints.

Have you ever spilled salt or glitter and tried to clean it up; Only to find particles for days or months afterwards?  Our quarantine is like this, we are being asked to stay in our containers for a bit, so we don’t leave particles behind for others to find. No matter how careful you are or how much you clean something that involves glitter; there is almost always a few pieces here and there that get stuck to other things.

Nobody wants to lose their freedom or be told what to do but here’s the catch none of us want to lose anything… not our jobs, homes, cars, food, possessions, security or most of all our most cherished... our loved ones.

We must trust. Trust is a hard thing for most of us; even me,  but we have to right now. 

If you can’t believe the news sources or your own wisdom; ask a friend who is a doctor or nurse, ask someone you know in another country, ask God.  Your medical friends may tell you that yes, the threat is real, your friends in other countries will agree but they know that allowing others to do their jobs is paramount. 

Ask God… if you apply your faith we are taught above all else to “Trust in Him” and to “Have faith”.

Friends I am asking you to stay home for your safety, for the welfare of others and to allow this short few weeks to be a cleansing period and a time of renewal with our families and with God.; 

After all it is Lent. Its this not living the season with gusto?

Nobody is taking your freedom today. We are asking you to sacrifice for a short while for the better good. Unless everyone follows the rules, we are like spilled salt or glitter that just keeps showing up stuck to something when you don’t want it there. 

Sure, it hurts to disinfect or stitch up a bad wound. It hurts even more if it gets infected and you have to lance it or worse remove the limb. Temporary pain for gain is the answer here.

The current situation has no room for even a single grain of salt left out to be found or we will start cleaning up this mess repeatedly.

Demanding or taking freedom or using free will when you are placing others at grave risk isn’t freedom at all:  it is simply displacing your inconvenience on others and creating a greater possible heartache for someone else.

The longer we refuse to quarantine ourselves the longer this will take. So we can do this calmly while we are all mostly safe, healthy and have supplies or we can keep the particles showing up for months and wait until there is nothing.

Please stay home unless you are a person of absolute need (law, medical personal etc.) The more tightly closed you keep your container (just immediate family if possible) the better and faster this will be over.

My son and good friend both physicians, fear that because some of us can’t play by the rules, they will cost others great loss, much greater than most can imagine. Both have stated this could go on for months unless people pay attention to the warnings.

There will be time to spread your salty sparkle around…. this is not that time!

Stay home and place your trust in God

Micheline Edwards © 2020

Faith, Humility, Forgiveness & Grace

So... “It’s been awhile”.  The Mass readings for today along with an insightful morning conversation prompted this blog. I usually write when my mind is unable to clear something. Sometimes I feel that a particular life event would provide benefit to others either through humor or lesson. Faith is often a cornerstone to me beginning a blog entry; how am I living out my faith?  A series of events this week prompted me to evaluate faith, humility, forgiveness, grace and ultimately love. How do we love and place what He asks of us into action?

Christianity teaches faith but what is faith? Is it not the belief in that which you cannot see?

Christianity teaches humility but what is humility? Is it not the ability to place ourselves in a position of the lowly to render ourselves open to understanding, kindness and love?

Christianity teaches forgiveness but what is forgiveness? Is it not being able to humble ourselves to faith in our understanding or lack thereof, love others as Christ loved from a place of humility?

Christianity teaches grace but what is grace? Is it not ones ability to lean upon faith, be humble and offer forgiveness and not lean upon our own understanding but what Christ asks of us?  Is it not but the cornerstone to the greatest teaching which is love.

In life we are often witness to or victims of less than loving situations. As Christians, we are taught to have faith that things will be right ? To place our trust in God. This is often something we have a difficult time applying  to ourselves let alone to others outside of our own" personal" human bubble. We build walls, make excuses and try to protect from harm. God asks us to be open, understanding and love unconditionally. We are lead to be humble and even if we do not understand a transgression to forgive (judgement is not ours)? We are asked to offer grace to those who we may feel are the least deserving of our love?

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” ~1 John 1:9

We are taught as Christians and myself as a Catholic to confess then to move forward with confidence, fully forgiven and free from guilt.

Why do we witness those who have poured their hearts out: being offered hostile judgement? He himself, the truth of in life can offer grace and love? Why is this so hard for us? We are human.  Our human condition opens our hearts to hurt. Our human condition often places blinders on our eyes to see with faithful eyes that things will be ok. Our human hearts are subject to hurt. Our humanness doesn’t always allow us to be humble. Our human condition doesn’t always end up offering grace and love to those who need it most.

Christianity teaches us that the greatest of things is love. Unwavering, humble, often undeserved, given with a heart of forgiveness when we don’t always understand.

Christianity equals faith, humility, forgiveness and grace which equal love. Love the greatest gift we can offer to another; even greater is this gift when undeserved.

We are not here to place judgement but to love.

Micheline Edwards © 2019

Momma to Mom Journey

 I saw the image below this morning and snagged it; not sure who to credit but it is brilliant. It evokes some deep thoughts of love & motherhood in me. The photo (above) is one my daughter took of me with my granddaughter. A mother's love knows no boundaries and this is sometimes a fine or awkward line. Most women either have or will travel through these phases.... "Momma, Mommy and Mom". I personally have taken this journey 5 times and am now watching it unfold with my daughter & daughter in laws. I've watched this process since I became a mother for the first time; especially when watching strangers with older children or even when observing my own mother & mother in law (even when well intended moments went astray). What I never understood is how this evolution prepares our children so beautifully for their first solo flights & leaves our hearts so full but yet empty all at the same time. Our minds can travel from momma to mom much more gracefully than our hearts. What we often fail to remember when dealing with other women especially or own mothers or mother in laws (judgment etc); is that they will always be “momma”. Our children are always our babies no matter the stage they are in. They grow up, move on, and start their own families. They are always our family even after they begin their own. The point of this post is to remind the grown daughters & daughter in laws (myself included) to remember when dealing with your mother's or mother in laws that you or your spouse were once and always will be the tiny child who called them "momma". Men, this blog post was written with women and mothers in mind but as much as you love your children and always want to do the best for them your mothers intentions are usually the same.  This isn't about boundaries but compassion for where someone else's heart is. Often I see in mom groups such venom spewed about our mothers (mother in laws especially) when often it was honestly love for a child. That child might be an adult with their own family and ways of doing things but to a mother you cannot just turn off concerns, love or involvement. Not asking to debate that there needs to be separation. I have no desire to be involved 24-7 with my grown children but asking grown children use respect for where a mother of grown/older children might be viewing things from. Years ago I learned that you never know what someone else might be going through, to never say never and to not judge. 

I would like to encourage/challenge each of us here to pray for the next 7 days for your mothers and your spouse’s mother's. Pray that you learn compassion & understanding for their journey that allow your ears & hearts to be open to their words or actions and what might have created these. Pray that you learn to treat them with love & respect even if you don't always agree about doing things particular ways. 
I did this year's ago and also still do when I get frustrated with either of our mothers. It changed my heart and creates more joyful relationships. 💗
Try to imagine the advice Mary might have given as a mother or mother in law to her daughter's given today's world.

Micheline Edwards © 2017, revised 2019

Happiness and Our Relationships

It’s been a while since I've written a new entry for this blog. Life has been exuberantly and marvelously busy. It seems that I often begin an entry with the “it’s been a while” approach maybe because it is when I am feeling called in my soul to answer a mindful moment that I am inspired to write. I belong to a Catholic moms group and a member recently asked if anyone in the group married over fifteen years actually had a happy marriage?

My heart wept for this woman. She had had missed the memo that true happiness comes from within.

My initial response was prayers for her and her family but then I sat back and thought for a bit. My husband and I just celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary this past Sunday. We of course have had our ups and downs. There are days or even extended periods of time that honestly I wake up and look at him and think “I am not sure I really even like him right now”. I cannot imagine my life without him though. I know this is hard core honesty but I believe the foundations of a good relationship are, good communication, honestly and trust. If someone asked him about our relationship; I trust that he would honestly communicate the same answer.

The definition of a good marriage isn’t about a hallmark moment, that perfectly staged photo shoot, or putting the toilet seat down. The very essence of being joyful is subjective to each of us defining our own parameters for gratitude and what is achievable and right. Nobody, spouse or otherwise can create or be held responsible for our happiness. I am not saying this because I have super powers and am always just and perfect in my expectations of my spouse or others but because when my expectations, my ideals and my gratitude get out of whack; my life isn’t joyful. Society sets us up for the unachievable and often for disappointment or discontentment.

Years ago I named my blog White Picket Fences & Grace because I saw a lot of discrepancies between what we were fed by society to be right, factual or expected and what was actually on point. As humans particularly in the western culture that we live in we tend to be judgmental, compare ourselves to others, to covet or show jealously and to believe what the masses paint for us to be the absolute truth.  There is only one absolute truth and that is God.

We have this false sense of a white picket fence life that doesn’t exist except in a storybook and let’s face it how boring would that novel actually be without the adventure? What would the characters gain from their experience if not some sort of lesson or knowledge; which is often based (sadly so) on some trial or tribulation they overcame. I believe & tell my clients (I am a Women’s Life & Health Coach) that there are no bad experiences in life just learning opportunities.

A good relationship or marriage isn’t about expecting others to provide your happiness. Who wants to bear that burden? Let’s face it we are humans and good or bad we have free will. By having free will, we are very imperfectly perfect and we will often disappoint, anger or sadden those we love; even if not intentionally. This is where forgiveness is important too. A happy life or relationship is about learning from our past, doing our best to honor good, showing forgiveness as we would wish it shown to us, and being real about what truly matters.

Every emotion we have good or bad can be amplified by the actions of others but ultimately a good marriage or relationship isn’t designed to provide us with happiness (we must find that within ourselves) but to become one in God’s plan for us, to support each other in carrying out His word.

Happiness is found in our relationships with others when we honor His plan and desires for ourselves and bestow these graces in return upon those we choose to surround ourselves with.

Micheline Edwards © 2019 Five Children and a Farm,,,White Picket Fences & Grace

#fivechildrenandafarm #ridiculouslyamazinglife #easeandgrace #simplebalance #girldropyourcape

Gratitude Circles

Building gratitude in our lives is not something we do overnight but something that we work on over time. Being thankful isn’t something we can just do occasionally because it would be like driving on a tire that had huge holes in it. November is the month of being thankful. It’s interesting to see so many discuss what they are thankful about for over the next thirty days when this is followed by a wave of what they want. Silly but many don’t realize that be thankful also allows us to get more out of life. Thankfulness is not only a key element to happiness but gratitude is the vehicle that drives us from our past to our future with #easeandgrace. Gratitude is something we should focus on so much more than we do, especially when things aren't going well. Being grateful for our past not only creates contentment in our lives but also fills our happiness bank to move forward. Our past creates who we are and allows us to move forward with knowledge that makes us wiser in our journey. I am thankful for my past the good and the bad. Often the bad became more of a reference or catalyst for positive change than the good or easy. If we salute and show grace when looking back at where we have been then as we move forward with new goals, aspirations and dreams not only are they sweeter upon achievement but they are more visible in our lives thus creating a a circle of gratitude. A gratitude circle enables us to move through life: through the good and bad knowing who we are, where we are going (even in the darkest moments) and to react to the adverse with a sense of well being. All we do starts to become a smooth motion of ease and grace. The more we thank our past for shaping us, the less we need to "try" to be gracious. Gratitude becomes the very core of who we are;

moral fibers of being thankful are woven so strongly in our being that they can ultimately create scaffolding for immense growth in our future. We actually become gracious, thankful humans instead of just going through the motions. We become the very essence of grace and begin to spread this to those around us. The gratitude circle isn’t an instant happy or a sudden acknowledgement of a recent gift. Building a gratitude circle, that is solid and that builds momentum rolling easily through life is the cumulative of hard knocks, gratitude, positive reactions and repeating. Every time we repeat this we make our circle smoother and its circumference and movement becomes “more”. More of what we want need and desire. You see loves if you want more in life, you must acknowledge with a grateful heart not only the amazing but the potholes in life as well. Find a golden nugget even in the low points and attach a lesson or positive to your wheel even from these moments. A child’s fable tells of three pigs that each build a house entirely of a given material. None of these withstand the wolf’s persistence when he shows up at their door. Had they opened their minds to gratitude for what they had, shared their resources and reacted differently sharing what they each had with joyous hearts their homes most certainly would have withstood any storm so much better (even if significant damages had been done). Build your core with all of your resources. Use the good, the bad, the amazing and the events that knock the wind out of you to create a circle of gratitude that cannot be stopped once it is set in motion. There will be speed bumps that slow your wheel down but build graciousness so solid that you can’t be derailed from your dreams! I challenge each of you to acknowledge and show gratitude not for just the good but for the difficult paths you have walked in life that created the person you are today. What journeys have added the most reinforcement to your circle of gratitude? Copyright 2018 Micheline Edwards #coachandafarm #girldropyourcape #simplebalance #momtofive #ridiculouslyamazinglife