Oh my sweetest Valentine, BE what you seek in others.

Awe... it is February the month of Valentines, love notes and couples. It is a time when we tell our family, friends and special loves what they mean to us. Oh wait, this could be Christmas two months into the year! This could be Thanks-Giving ten months early! This could be....should be...Everyday of the year. We should always let those we love know how we feel. Hopefully they too, will do the same. What makes us want to love someone or someone love us? Is it primal urges, good looks and all that? Sure at the romantic level some degree of physical attraction does help. None of us wants to introduce our date or spouse by saying," Oh yes and this is Bob" and then point to the guy with a lunch sack over his head! We have also all seen the odd couple too. You know the one...how did "he/she end up with...". What DID "so and so" see in ???? Good question for sure. That question can also be applied to couples that have stood the test of time. What makes them stay together and remain in love even through the storms of life? I think the same answer applies to all of these questions. Is the person you are directing your affection too "LOVABLE"? are you "LOVABLE"? We all like to think we are. How do you respond to your spouses touch? Would you want your touch reciprocated? How do you react when they have had a bad day? What would you want to hear? What does it mean to be lovable? I think to be loved, you most go beyond looks, beyond the expected and strive to be cherished. To be loved and cherished you must be someone who is lovable. Here is the biggy..."Love is the the motivation behind the attitude we are driven to emulate". Our attitude affects our decisions, our choices, our actions and our contentedness. Our decision to be love directly affects our ability to attract love, to maintain it, to build upon it and it give back to others. Our Father served us with a servants heart. Throughout his life and beyond he loved us with an unconditional love. Do you love unconditionally? Do you serve those you love with a happy heart? If not, look at yourself; WOULD YOU LOVE YOU? What makes one spouse love their partner no matter what and another turn away while they seemingly have "everything"? Maybe "everything" is not what we think it is. I have a favorite author Debbie Pearl. One of my favorite quotes from her is: ~"Discontentment is not a product of circumstances but a state of the soul".~
We come into this world with nothing and we can take nothing out, but our soul. Why is it then, that we apply our focus of attention on the superficial; worldly goods and not on our soul? We should practice happiness, contentment, understanding and forgiveness even when serving; when we place a smile on our faces who could not be inclined to love and cherish us? Philippians 2:5 tells us that in all we do we must think and act like Jesus. Certainly EVEN those of us who are not faithful can agree that if we love unconditionally and bear our burdens with joy, we could be found more lovable in return. For those of us of faith we know for sure, that the more we love and are content we are; the more loved and content others find us. So are you lovable? Do walk around with a smile, do you offer to help with a happy heart, do you embrace others who reach toward you, do you do what needs to be done even if not asked. Are you someone who is a joy to be with? If you wish love, if you wish to be cherished; then look at yourself in the mirror of your soul, not in the mirror of your bathroom. Do not spend you time seeking the perfect outfit to attract love, the best thing you can wear is a smile. If you seek love or to deepen the loves you have, deepen your own demeanor. Make cheerful your continence, be what you should seek to have at your side in life. When you are content and beautiful from the inside out (old but true saying) Love will grow from you and its vines will wind their way back to you full of blossoms. As with all gardens this will take time, patience and practice. Practice being cheerful, practice how you would like to be responded to, practice your reactions to others. When you are full of love (practice makes NOT perfect but perfect goodness) love will find you. For even the most homely of us shall be loved and cherished if we are servants with cheerful hearts. Tell others you love them everyday not just in words (although these are good to hear) but in your actions. Don't show your love just on holidays or with gifts of material goods but with smile in your soul. Happy Valentines Day to everybody, may you seek to be cherished, to love with a greater passion this year, all year and from now on.
Copyright 2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights Reserved

Sharing cookies and other responible acts.

With the new year well into swing and resolutions already put into action...as well broken by some of us; I started thinking about what are our responsibilities in life. I don't mean just weekly blah blah..cleaning the house, the bill paying or personal hygiene; which are obviously good things to keep up with. First of all; I feel respect ranks high on the list. You know the common sense efforts bestowed upon us by others and to others. We all learned in kindergarten to "Treat others as we should wish to be treated". We know all about this and hopefully try our best to follow this rule. What about life beyond just "playing well with others", paying our bills and taking a bath? What are our responsibilities to our families, children, friends (or those not friends)? What kind of things make us good people? Is it our resolutions each year? The diets we tried and failed at? The cool gift we got our kid when we failed to be there. Was it spending an afternoon twice a year with grandma, Aunt "Boresomebody" or with the friend that you would rather go to the dentist than see? Was it taking your kids to Disney? dressing nice? eating the four food groups and flossing? Maybe not. What drives some of us to be responsible and others to not care. Yes, there I said it; "To be responible". What is this word? What does it mean and why do we always attach it to everything except what really matters. Yes! you should pay your bills, do your homework, take a shower and visit Grandma (hopefully more than twice a year) etc etc... What I am searching for here is what makes us responsible to others; to ourselves; and just in general? Responsible to our children, our extended family, our friends and sometimes those that are not our friends or people we don't even know. What makes us responsible humans beyond "flossing twice a day"? Who taught us to do this or not do this? Young children are naturally nurturing and even responsible, they love to help others; and keep us informed of things (Ya, ya they all go through the "me stage"). Who takes this natural tendency to pat another's back, hold a friends hand, kiss a "booboo" on some sandbox buddy or share a cookie even if it is their favorite. Who fosters our caring instincts or turns them off? I know I have probably beaten this horse many times but again I will say it. There are eyes and ears on us, even when we don't know it. Others develop opinions of us, not based solely on our job performance, attendance of the "right" things, or good work out skills but on our "work ethics". By "work ethics" I am not referring just to responsibility exhibited on the job, at church, to impress others, get a great review or a pay raise; but by those things you assume nobody will ever see; and in everything you do. That friends, is responsibility! So how responsible are you? Do you need to review just how much further you could take the old saying "Do unto others, as you wish them to do unto you". Maybe in 2012 even if we have kept or failed at our resolutions as January comes to a close we should foster a new mantra "to do everything we do, as though Our Father was watching us". Maybe we should take responsible steps to not only keep up with the day to day but go a step beyond. Maybe help, reach out or do something for somebody who could never repay you. Care for others and the gifts God gives us even if no one is watching. Be forgiving, lend a hand, lead by example. Do something because it was the right thing to do: because you want to be responsible as a human being and teach others by doing. Let's follow a "Do as I do" idea. So are you truly responsible? While others are watching you; Do you do what you do because of this? or because you are watching yourself. When YOU look at YOUR actions, and how responsible you are, how do you feel? It is said that we are our own worst critics but we usually only apply this to superficial things. Are you responsible?

"Tis the Season to...."

"Tis the season"... to be with family, friends and loved ones. "Tis the season"... to bake, decorate, shop, host, wrap, give, and receive. "Tis the season"... for carols, parties, get togethers and travel. "Tis the season"... to love, be loved, need and be needed. "Tis the season"... to live the magic, gaze at the lights and expect mysteries. "Tis the season"... to know why?
Our Savior is the reason.
When you have family, friends and loved ones around you...think of our Blessed Mother Mary. Mary, not more than a mere child herself who was scared and alone, yet loved and trusted God so much that she agreed to be alone and afraid to bring forth her son our Lord.
When you bake, think of the hungry both now and when Mary made her journey. Savor each cookie as if it were all there was. Decorate your space, not for the neighbors but for Jesus who will be a guest in our homes. Shop but don't engage in greed, remember those less fortunate. Don't ask for more than you need. Wrap and give gifts that are from your heart and hands. Make your gifts those that keep giving; so they emulate our Father's love, which is unceasing. When you receive, give thanks.
When you sing, do so as if in great prayer. Fill the room with the sound of voice reaching unto the Heavens. When you go to parties, dinners and get togethers think of "The Last Supper" which our Lord will be at sometime after his Christmas birth; when the parties end. When you travel fall to your knees at night before retiring and be with a glad heart that you arrived safely, in comfort and that there was "Room for you" when you got there.
When you love do so with your whole heart. When you want to be loved open your soul. When you need unconditional love, look to Our Father for he will fill your empty heart. Remember that HE wants nothing more than to be loved, needed and accepted by you.
When you look for magic in the season enjoy the world around you but do not forget the great mystery of faith. Faith that by it's very definition is a belief in the unseen and sometimes intangible. It is the knowledge that in your heart you know what is just and true. If you can believe in Santa, wish for things you have not seen; with hope to receive... Then receive HIM, believe in HIM and you will always have faith. Have the faith to gaze into the sky at the starry lights that guided the shepherds years ago and know that the same presence that lead them, will lead you in the right way.
Christmas Magic is always in Season because it is not just a season...All year "Tis the season" to be Holy, give thanks and to believe.


Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards.

The Dirt Road Traveled (not often enough)..........

To my followers I apologize for taking such a break. I was not lacking material but the time to write about it. I am sitting here now deciding which direction to take this entry. So much has happened in our lives over the past few weeks. A lot of it gives me pause to reflect not just the past month or two but the last twenty five (and then some) years. Today is the birthday of my oldest son. He is grown and married with three children of his own now. My daughter has been married a little over a month. Our middle son engaged for almost 2 months. Our two youngest both in high school are moving full speed ahead in their lives. We have been involved over the past few weeks in everything from a wedding to a charity home build for families that lost their homes a while back: as well as all the other day to day events. I have sat with friends who have laughed, cried and also reminisced about the past, the present and the future. I have friends with new babies, friends who have sent their babies to God. I have friends who have also had marriages take place and watched sadly as some marriages did not make it. I have watched friends pray and prayed for friends who are losing loved ones and for friends who have lost their battle. I have seen joy, and watched in dismay at unexplained sadness. I have been witness to the most beautiful acts of kindness and heard about things that some should not ever be privy too. This my friends has just been since my last entry. Our world moves at such a pace that we often just keep trudging forward but seldom pause long enough to really look at where we are, at those around us and where we are heading. I work closely with an Amish community not far from my home. It is such a privilege to be counted among their friends, to help care for their families and to be included in their homes and events. Yesterday I got dressed and headed to the "community". This was the first Monday in weeks where these were my only appointments for the day (I am there most Monday afternoons). I sat with my first appointment, took care of her needs and met her sister from out of state. We visited with another friend to see her new baby and I checked in on two other mothers while there. Each time I entered their homes they stopped what they were doing and sat down in the quiet that is their world. They laughed, joked, nursed babies, chased small children, occasionally stirred or moved something around in the kitchen and even took notice of who had spent the morning doing laundry (clothes lines tell stories Lol). They talked about their lives and those of distant family and friends:they spoke of them like they lived down the street. This amazes me as they only correspond via the post office; "My goodness if we had to do such things". As we visited with one lady who was enjoying her newborn she expressed how she realized this was probably her last baby (she has some that are almost grown as well). We talked about the pace at which our families change. She commented that it made her want to slow down and savor every moment. "This quiet slow paced Amish woman thought she needed to slow down?" I was amazed. This left me in deep thought. We headed back to return my friend who had been riding along with me. As we drove at a "buggy pace" (10-15mph) down her remote dirt road, she commented that "The scholars were out" I looked over to the field and saw 3 small Amish children heading home from school running across a path through a field. They were complete with books and pails. I told my sister, they looked like a scene from "The little House Series". I dropped off my friend, her preschooler came down from his perch on the cattle gate (complete with his straw hat adorned with a funny grocery bag) to tell me good bye and I headed home. Funny thing I noticed years ago was that on the way to the Amish community I usually have my radio on in my car. I usually turn it off as I arrive (I often get stopped in my car by friends saying "hello" when they see me)I seldom turn it back on as I leave. Sometimes I have turned it on when leaving only to quickly turn it back off. It is like this everyday "thing" suddenly becomes almost distasteful or annoying. Without distraction I drove home the hour drive in deep thought. I rolled around in my mind, all that has occurred in the past few weeks. The joyous, the sad, the busy and the slow. I thought about how precious life is and how blessed I was. Somewhere in my "slow afternoon back in time" I had the moments to pause and reflect on what to be "thankful for" and why. I realized how important it is for all of us to make time to be quiet and slow down. We should all try to take a few hours this Thanks~Giving month to be quiet, to turn off the world. To maybe have a cup of tea with a friend at our kitchen counter where it is peaceful so we can listen. Take a walk deep into the woods where there are no distractions but maybe the leaves crunching under foot. We should pause to hear, to pray, to meditate, to ponder and to marvel at what we have. I know we can't all go on a retreat, spend a couple of hours or travel back in time but try to "steal" a few moments. You will feel more giving and more thankfulness. Your life will seem so much more at peace. Take the time to travel down that dirt road at a slower pace for a few minutes. What a gift to ourselves and to those around us to prepare for our coming season of Advent.


Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards.

Autumn Shade

It is the end of September and the beginning of autumn. I just ventured outside on this gorgeous fall day to take some table scraps to some of our furry farm friends. They are always so cheerful and happy to see you when you spend time with them. A pat on the head or a piece of fruit peel can make their day. I remember a time when my children were little; a lap to sit on or a cookie had the same effect. They were so greatful. As they get older, it seems that what we have to offer is just never enough. I don't know if it is their age, our society (my friends say they notice the same)or what. Pondering this thought, I headed back into the house. Nearing the side entrance that we use most often; I paused a moment to notice that our pear tree had finally gotten big enough to actually provide a decent amount of shade. I stood there in the cool of it's slowly changing, not so green leaves on this very warm September day. I listened to the birds and felt the breeze on my cheeks. I thought about how small my children had been when they helped my husband plant this tree, that now stands high above my head. The tree didn't ask to be planted but yet we did. Our children took such joy in tending this undemanding little plant. They are older now. I don't know if they even take the time to notice the fruits of their labor. It's leaves would tell us like a child's cry that it needed water, so we would water it. The tree was never demanding in fact it was often ignored or taken for granted. But here it stands thriving and tall and giving. When it speaks it speaks in quiet kindness. When it listens it hears with it's branches outstretched. When ever you go to it, there is something of wonder it shares. Maybe we should all be more like this tree, take a little less, be a little less demanding, more forgiving and stretch out our arms even when we feel someone is just using our "shade". They probably need it.

Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards.

"I DO".....Believe

It has been a while since I have had time to sit down and collect my thoughts. My daughter's approaching wedding has had an endearing hold on the family. Our middle son surprised us by asking his girlfriend to be his "forever love" this past weekend. So much excitement for sure. My daughter in law "to be" announced as she approached me with her ring, "You get to keep me!". We are thrilled. Our daughter is winding down her planning. In about two weeks she will finalize the next step in her life; to be her fiance's "help meet" for the rest of her adult life. I used the words "help meet" (meet not mate) because that is what a spouse is. Someone to help you through life, to share the good, the bad and to meet you halfway (or beyond if needed). To always be there for you. I learned this term a few years ago from a book I read by Debi Pearl ("Created to be his Help Meet"; highly recommend...it will be a "love it, hate it, read). Our society has this image perpetuated by media and unrealistic ideas of how marriage should be. Our girls are brought up with fairy tale dreams of a prince on a white horse (or nice sports car) and moving into the castle with a white picket fence(or a 4bd/3bth on the upper east side)and living happily ever after. Have you ever noticed that there aren't many accounts of what actually happens in that castle after the very unrealistic wedding ceremony where everybody in the land comes and wishes them well? You know when "princie boy" breaks great grandma's china accidentally or "princess" dents the sports car etc...Probably because it might have a way of turning "Prince Charming or Cinderella" into a real person. Reality isn't always fun or pretty. Momma never told me that a prince could have gas, leave his dirty dishes on the floor, not mow the lawn, snore and leave the lid up or forget to pay a bills. Daddy never tells his sons, your princess will sometimes have razor sharp barbs on her legs, not always cook you dinner, buy lots of shoes (more than anyone could ever wear) spend your paycheck on unnecessary kitchen & bath things, or she will turn into a witch once a month. Parents also don't tell their children that married life is an amazing journey to be compared with non other (except maybe parenting) but that it is riddled along the way with a hefty dose of budgeting, eating things you never thought would grace your table and the melting of two families into one. They never tell their children how hard it is to sometimes agree on everything from breakfast & spanking, to religion & politics. The subjects of your spouse may die, cheat (yes, it happens), lose/quit their jobs or not be who you thought is rarely discussed at the "pre" wedded bliss celebrations. "Learning to forgive 101" should be mandatory for all newlyweds. Mothers rarely have the "birds and bees" discussion (which by the way; this info can be easily obtained.) Whats all the hype about this and not the important stuff? Our society brings this up regularly. This subject is joked about and talked about all the time. What about the topic of what happens after the fairy tale wedding, the princess dress & honeymoon, when a few years later you can't pay your gas bill? This folks is real, it happens. It is not like every married person hasn't wakened up next to their spouse from time to time (or for extended periods of time) and said to themselves, "I am thinking my spouse would look better in a paper bag on a shelf today" or "WHO is this person in my bed?". What then makes us want to be married? Why do we encourage our children, friends, siblings and even parents to marry? The obvious answer according to today's media, would most likely be because we all have a fairy tale we want to come true. But what is the root of this continuously recreated scenario of illusion? Is it ignorance? Lack of adequate material that says, "Whoa!!!" "Why in heaven's name would you want to spend your life with a hairy, snoring person who will make you at times hate him/her and sometimes make you question your sanity? Why? I don't KNOW why but I "believe" this. The first reason is that we "DO BELIEVE". We all want to have faith that someone is there for us, no matter what. We all want a shoulder there when we need it. None of us want to be alone, like it or not we are "pack animals". We need help in our day to day lives; even if we don't always like that help or want it. Everybody wants someone who will be brutally honest to the point of sometimes causing your emotions to overheat; it makes us think deeply about the cares/ideas of others. Ladies you don't want to hear it, but you all know that if the dress makes your butt look big; wouldn't you rather have someone who loves you unconditionally say so before you go out in public in it? When you are sick, troubled, grieving or can't figure out finances isn't easier to share that load with someone who you love? The list could go on and on... as Christians we are taught the importance of sharing the load. Why do we get married? is it the $5000 white dress? the 2 carat ring? the perfect kids(a topic for later discussion Lol)? having eye candy that your sorority sisters envy on your arm? to change your status quo? Happiness for ever and always (not happening). I hope not any of these. If your reasons for marriage are OR were placed in those previous categories: You have been sold a bridge in the dessert. You have bought the lie that society has sold you and at a very high price; you will pay dearly for it again and again. Marriage is a sacred institution not to be entered into lightly, it is to be guarded by both parties. You are bound by God and held in HIS hands during the entire journey. You should be prepared to love, honor and cherish your spouse no matter what he or she looks like or does. You may be angry or even feel hatred at times, that is human nature; work through it. Your reward??? Why do we do it??? Because; next to our relationship with God this will be our most sacred union in life. Your spouse will be the one who holds your hand, walks by your side and is there more years than just about anybody in your life (even your parents and children sometimes). He or she will know and be guarded with your most intimate secrets and share your joys. Marriage is hard it is not an Ozzie and Harriet scene it is life at it's best if you know what is ahead of you. Life in the "castle" can be grand but not the type of grandeur our society tells us it is. It is better.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

Life & "Soggy" Cantaloupes

We've spent the last week packing, moving and rearranging things to send an eclectic assortment of household furnishings and such with my daughter to her new home. Part of this process is sad. Some of it (okay a lot of it) has worn us out both physically and mentally. Most of this "purge" of things going to start a new life is very exciting. I like the idea of my husbands and my first table going to our daughters home. I had my first meals as a newlywed there. I love that this furniture will be experiencing new life again. I have enjoyed spending time with numerous grandparents sorting through family treasures (and some new finds as well) to get our daughter and her love started in their journey together. All of this has had me contemplating the purpose of life; not just as a Christian but as a human. I have spend so much of my life watching this process unfold. Sometimes I was so busy, I failed to realize that I was in the middle of this great journey myself. As a child I remember the first time I was vividly aware of new life was when my brother was born. The following summer my friend and I spent weeks sitting in the playhouse my father had made. We enjoyed hours sewing scraps of "foraged" fabric together for a quilt. This quilt was the product of our hands and a lot of love; it was also probably the funniest looking thing ever; with it's odd colors, multi sized stitching, tacky seventies prints & pink velvet edges. The hand sewn childlike quilt was a gift for my soon to be new baby brother or sister. I soon realized at eight years old how fragile life was. I didn't know how someone I never met or was even "visible" could die. I remember my friend and I taking our gift all boxed up to my mother. I guess, in my child like mind I figured that maybe if she had the quilt the baby would come back to use it. Of course that never happened. I spent my childhood summers gardening; planting seeds, weeding things out, working hard and watching the plants produce fruit. I knew my father told me if you don't pick the "fruit" the plants will stop producing it. My girlfriend and I were also master "transplanters". We would find anything in the woods or at the side of the road that we thought was an attractive plant and bring it back home to be planted in our playhouse garden. I grew up on a small farm and marveled at waking up to a new colt in the field or a fluffy chick in the hen house. We always had puppies, kittens and the like. Some of them were "transplants or repurposed" pets that got left at our place. What joy they brought. We watched them grow, loved them and then like all things they went on their earthly way. This morning I pulled out a cantaloupe from the veggie drawer in our fridge. We have had a nice amount of these from our garden this year. With summer coming to an end, the plants have begun to slow; much as we all do. So, I was saving this cantaloupe for the weekend. Note to self... next time use your resources when they are there. I am now hoping to find another one in the garden when I go out in a bit. This silly piece of fruit caused me ponder that we too are like the garden vines. We are planted or we plant. We grow and we watch growth. Most of us hope to reproduce and wish for our seeds to carry on that tradition when they mature. A vine in the garden is there for the soul purpose of reproducing its self. If we harvest and the sun and weather permits some will produce for years. Others have but a single season and only one harvest. Some of us get "transplanted or repurposed"; a blessing for sure. Sending my daughter out with things that I used and enjoyed and some of them her grandparents did; gives these lifeless objects "new life". We as humans always seem to be chasing our own life so much. I personally always feel as though by the time I catch one "era" the next is already upon me. It is like the puppy in the grass that can't catch his tail. Plants and animals seem to have a much more direct path. "Be planted", grow, reproduce, and die. Humans have so much "stuffed in between" these four phases. I am at one of those "stuffed in between" cross roads. I am staring at my wasted cantaloupe. yes, my mind sometimes works in weird ways. I realize that as my children grow and move on; this is a chance to grow some more, even though I thought I was done "growing". This is a season for my husband and I to "produce" things in a new and different way. There will be work ahead of us; like the gardens of our past. I am hoping that this time maybe things will slow down just a bit and allow us to actually breathe in the essence of the past and the freshness of the future. Whether we are ready to be transplanted in the world it is happening. God has given us a gift that plant, animals (and some humans) don't always have. This gift is the ability to take all that we have been given and given to others and reshape it into a beautiful (and hopefully slower paced) second (or third etc) go around in life. I think this time I will always use the cantaloupe in its peak, enjoying its aroma, and flavor. Some gifts only appear once, maybe twice. Go out and enjoy life in what ever phase you are in. Some things like the kitchen table get repurposed most do not. Embrace what is before you, while things are still fresh. Don't be a "soggy" cantaloupe.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards