"Tis the Season to...."

"Tis the season"... to be with family, friends and loved ones. "Tis the season"... to bake, decorate, shop, host, wrap, give, and receive. "Tis the season"... for carols, parties, get togethers and travel. "Tis the season"... to love, be loved, need and be needed. "Tis the season"... to live the magic, gaze at the lights and expect mysteries. "Tis the season"... to know why?
Our Savior is the reason.
When you have family, friends and loved ones around you...think of our Blessed Mother Mary. Mary, not more than a mere child herself who was scared and alone, yet loved and trusted God so much that she agreed to be alone and afraid to bring forth her son our Lord.
When you bake, think of the hungry both now and when Mary made her journey. Savor each cookie as if it were all there was. Decorate your space, not for the neighbors but for Jesus who will be a guest in our homes. Shop but don't engage in greed, remember those less fortunate. Don't ask for more than you need. Wrap and give gifts that are from your heart and hands. Make your gifts those that keep giving; so they emulate our Father's love, which is unceasing. When you receive, give thanks.
When you sing, do so as if in great prayer. Fill the room with the sound of voice reaching unto the Heavens. When you go to parties, dinners and get togethers think of "The Last Supper" which our Lord will be at sometime after his Christmas birth; when the parties end. When you travel fall to your knees at night before retiring and be with a glad heart that you arrived safely, in comfort and that there was "Room for you" when you got there.
When you love do so with your whole heart. When you want to be loved open your soul. When you need unconditional love, look to Our Father for he will fill your empty heart. Remember that HE wants nothing more than to be loved, needed and accepted by you.
When you look for magic in the season enjoy the world around you but do not forget the great mystery of faith. Faith that by it's very definition is a belief in the unseen and sometimes intangible. It is the knowledge that in your heart you know what is just and true. If you can believe in Santa, wish for things you have not seen; with hope to receive... Then receive HIM, believe in HIM and you will always have faith. Have the faith to gaze into the sky at the starry lights that guided the shepherds years ago and know that the same presence that lead them, will lead you in the right way.
Christmas Magic is always in Season because it is not just a season...All year "Tis the season" to be Holy, give thanks and to believe.


Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards.

The Dirt Road Traveled (not often enough)..........

To my followers I apologize for taking such a break. I was not lacking material but the time to write about it. I am sitting here now deciding which direction to take this entry. So much has happened in our lives over the past few weeks. A lot of it gives me pause to reflect not just the past month or two but the last twenty five (and then some) years. Today is the birthday of my oldest son. He is grown and married with three children of his own now. My daughter has been married a little over a month. Our middle son engaged for almost 2 months. Our two youngest both in high school are moving full speed ahead in their lives. We have been involved over the past few weeks in everything from a wedding to a charity home build for families that lost their homes a while back: as well as all the other day to day events. I have sat with friends who have laughed, cried and also reminisced about the past, the present and the future. I have friends with new babies, friends who have sent their babies to God. I have friends who have also had marriages take place and watched sadly as some marriages did not make it. I have watched friends pray and prayed for friends who are losing loved ones and for friends who have lost their battle. I have seen joy, and watched in dismay at unexplained sadness. I have been witness to the most beautiful acts of kindness and heard about things that some should not ever be privy too. This my friends has just been since my last entry. Our world moves at such a pace that we often just keep trudging forward but seldom pause long enough to really look at where we are, at those around us and where we are heading. I work closely with an Amish community not far from my home. It is such a privilege to be counted among their friends, to help care for their families and to be included in their homes and events. Yesterday I got dressed and headed to the "community". This was the first Monday in weeks where these were my only appointments for the day (I am there most Monday afternoons). I sat with my first appointment, took care of her needs and met her sister from out of state. We visited with another friend to see her new baby and I checked in on two other mothers while there. Each time I entered their homes they stopped what they were doing and sat down in the quiet that is their world. They laughed, joked, nursed babies, chased small children, occasionally stirred or moved something around in the kitchen and even took notice of who had spent the morning doing laundry (clothes lines tell stories Lol). They talked about their lives and those of distant family and friends:they spoke of them like they lived down the street. This amazes me as they only correspond via the post office; "My goodness if we had to do such things". As we visited with one lady who was enjoying her newborn she expressed how she realized this was probably her last baby (she has some that are almost grown as well). We talked about the pace at which our families change. She commented that it made her want to slow down and savor every moment. "This quiet slow paced Amish woman thought she needed to slow down?" I was amazed. This left me in deep thought. We headed back to return my friend who had been riding along with me. As we drove at a "buggy pace" (10-15mph) down her remote dirt road, she commented that "The scholars were out" I looked over to the field and saw 3 small Amish children heading home from school running across a path through a field. They were complete with books and pails. I told my sister, they looked like a scene from "The little House Series". I dropped off my friend, her preschooler came down from his perch on the cattle gate (complete with his straw hat adorned with a funny grocery bag) to tell me good bye and I headed home. Funny thing I noticed years ago was that on the way to the Amish community I usually have my radio on in my car. I usually turn it off as I arrive (I often get stopped in my car by friends saying "hello" when they see me)I seldom turn it back on as I leave. Sometimes I have turned it on when leaving only to quickly turn it back off. It is like this everyday "thing" suddenly becomes almost distasteful or annoying. Without distraction I drove home the hour drive in deep thought. I rolled around in my mind, all that has occurred in the past few weeks. The joyous, the sad, the busy and the slow. I thought about how precious life is and how blessed I was. Somewhere in my "slow afternoon back in time" I had the moments to pause and reflect on what to be "thankful for" and why. I realized how important it is for all of us to make time to be quiet and slow down. We should all try to take a few hours this Thanks~Giving month to be quiet, to turn off the world. To maybe have a cup of tea with a friend at our kitchen counter where it is peaceful so we can listen. Take a walk deep into the woods where there are no distractions but maybe the leaves crunching under foot. We should pause to hear, to pray, to meditate, to ponder and to marvel at what we have. I know we can't all go on a retreat, spend a couple of hours or travel back in time but try to "steal" a few moments. You will feel more giving and more thankfulness. Your life will seem so much more at peace. Take the time to travel down that dirt road at a slower pace for a few minutes. What a gift to ourselves and to those around us to prepare for our coming season of Advent.


Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards.

Autumn Shade

It is the end of September and the beginning of autumn. I just ventured outside on this gorgeous fall day to take some table scraps to some of our furry farm friends. They are always so cheerful and happy to see you when you spend time with them. A pat on the head or a piece of fruit peel can make their day. I remember a time when my children were little; a lap to sit on or a cookie had the same effect. They were so greatful. As they get older, it seems that what we have to offer is just never enough. I don't know if it is their age, our society (my friends say they notice the same)or what. Pondering this thought, I headed back into the house. Nearing the side entrance that we use most often; I paused a moment to notice that our pear tree had finally gotten big enough to actually provide a decent amount of shade. I stood there in the cool of it's slowly changing, not so green leaves on this very warm September day. I listened to the birds and felt the breeze on my cheeks. I thought about how small my children had been when they helped my husband plant this tree, that now stands high above my head. The tree didn't ask to be planted but yet we did. Our children took such joy in tending this undemanding little plant. They are older now. I don't know if they even take the time to notice the fruits of their labor. It's leaves would tell us like a child's cry that it needed water, so we would water it. The tree was never demanding in fact it was often ignored or taken for granted. But here it stands thriving and tall and giving. When it speaks it speaks in quiet kindness. When it listens it hears with it's branches outstretched. When ever you go to it, there is something of wonder it shares. Maybe we should all be more like this tree, take a little less, be a little less demanding, more forgiving and stretch out our arms even when we feel someone is just using our "shade". They probably need it.

Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards.

"I DO".....Believe

It has been a while since I have had time to sit down and collect my thoughts. My daughter's approaching wedding has had an endearing hold on the family. Our middle son surprised us by asking his girlfriend to be his "forever love" this past weekend. So much excitement for sure. My daughter in law "to be" announced as she approached me with her ring, "You get to keep me!". We are thrilled. Our daughter is winding down her planning. In about two weeks she will finalize the next step in her life; to be her fiance's "help meet" for the rest of her adult life. I used the words "help meet" (meet not mate) because that is what a spouse is. Someone to help you through life, to share the good, the bad and to meet you halfway (or beyond if needed). To always be there for you. I learned this term a few years ago from a book I read by Debi Pearl ("Created to be his Help Meet"; highly recommend...it will be a "love it, hate it, read). Our society has this image perpetuated by media and unrealistic ideas of how marriage should be. Our girls are brought up with fairy tale dreams of a prince on a white horse (or nice sports car) and moving into the castle with a white picket fence(or a 4bd/3bth on the upper east side)and living happily ever after. Have you ever noticed that there aren't many accounts of what actually happens in that castle after the very unrealistic wedding ceremony where everybody in the land comes and wishes them well? You know when "princie boy" breaks great grandma's china accidentally or "princess" dents the sports car etc...Probably because it might have a way of turning "Prince Charming or Cinderella" into a real person. Reality isn't always fun or pretty. Momma never told me that a prince could have gas, leave his dirty dishes on the floor, not mow the lawn, snore and leave the lid up or forget to pay a bills. Daddy never tells his sons, your princess will sometimes have razor sharp barbs on her legs, not always cook you dinner, buy lots of shoes (more than anyone could ever wear) spend your paycheck on unnecessary kitchen & bath things, or she will turn into a witch once a month. Parents also don't tell their children that married life is an amazing journey to be compared with non other (except maybe parenting) but that it is riddled along the way with a hefty dose of budgeting, eating things you never thought would grace your table and the melting of two families into one. They never tell their children how hard it is to sometimes agree on everything from breakfast & spanking, to religion & politics. The subjects of your spouse may die, cheat (yes, it happens), lose/quit their jobs or not be who you thought is rarely discussed at the "pre" wedded bliss celebrations. "Learning to forgive 101" should be mandatory for all newlyweds. Mothers rarely have the "birds and bees" discussion (which by the way; this info can be easily obtained.) Whats all the hype about this and not the important stuff? Our society brings this up regularly. This subject is joked about and talked about all the time. What about the topic of what happens after the fairy tale wedding, the princess dress & honeymoon, when a few years later you can't pay your gas bill? This folks is real, it happens. It is not like every married person hasn't wakened up next to their spouse from time to time (or for extended periods of time) and said to themselves, "I am thinking my spouse would look better in a paper bag on a shelf today" or "WHO is this person in my bed?". What then makes us want to be married? Why do we encourage our children, friends, siblings and even parents to marry? The obvious answer according to today's media, would most likely be because we all have a fairy tale we want to come true. But what is the root of this continuously recreated scenario of illusion? Is it ignorance? Lack of adequate material that says, "Whoa!!!" "Why in heaven's name would you want to spend your life with a hairy, snoring person who will make you at times hate him/her and sometimes make you question your sanity? Why? I don't KNOW why but I "believe" this. The first reason is that we "DO BELIEVE". We all want to have faith that someone is there for us, no matter what. We all want a shoulder there when we need it. None of us want to be alone, like it or not we are "pack animals". We need help in our day to day lives; even if we don't always like that help or want it. Everybody wants someone who will be brutally honest to the point of sometimes causing your emotions to overheat; it makes us think deeply about the cares/ideas of others. Ladies you don't want to hear it, but you all know that if the dress makes your butt look big; wouldn't you rather have someone who loves you unconditionally say so before you go out in public in it? When you are sick, troubled, grieving or can't figure out finances isn't easier to share that load with someone who you love? The list could go on and on... as Christians we are taught the importance of sharing the load. Why do we get married? is it the $5000 white dress? the 2 carat ring? the perfect kids(a topic for later discussion Lol)? having eye candy that your sorority sisters envy on your arm? to change your status quo? Happiness for ever and always (not happening). I hope not any of these. If your reasons for marriage are OR were placed in those previous categories: You have been sold a bridge in the dessert. You have bought the lie that society has sold you and at a very high price; you will pay dearly for it again and again. Marriage is a sacred institution not to be entered into lightly, it is to be guarded by both parties. You are bound by God and held in HIS hands during the entire journey. You should be prepared to love, honor and cherish your spouse no matter what he or she looks like or does. You may be angry or even feel hatred at times, that is human nature; work through it. Your reward??? Why do we do it??? Because; next to our relationship with God this will be our most sacred union in life. Your spouse will be the one who holds your hand, walks by your side and is there more years than just about anybody in your life (even your parents and children sometimes). He or she will know and be guarded with your most intimate secrets and share your joys. Marriage is hard it is not an Ozzie and Harriet scene it is life at it's best if you know what is ahead of you. Life in the "castle" can be grand but not the type of grandeur our society tells us it is. It is better.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

Life & "Soggy" Cantaloupes

We've spent the last week packing, moving and rearranging things to send an eclectic assortment of household furnishings and such with my daughter to her new home. Part of this process is sad. Some of it (okay a lot of it) has worn us out both physically and mentally. Most of this "purge" of things going to start a new life is very exciting. I like the idea of my husbands and my first table going to our daughters home. I had my first meals as a newlywed there. I love that this furniture will be experiencing new life again. I have enjoyed spending time with numerous grandparents sorting through family treasures (and some new finds as well) to get our daughter and her love started in their journey together. All of this has had me contemplating the purpose of life; not just as a Christian but as a human. I have spend so much of my life watching this process unfold. Sometimes I was so busy, I failed to realize that I was in the middle of this great journey myself. As a child I remember the first time I was vividly aware of new life was when my brother was born. The following summer my friend and I spent weeks sitting in the playhouse my father had made. We enjoyed hours sewing scraps of "foraged" fabric together for a quilt. This quilt was the product of our hands and a lot of love; it was also probably the funniest looking thing ever; with it's odd colors, multi sized stitching, tacky seventies prints & pink velvet edges. The hand sewn childlike quilt was a gift for my soon to be new baby brother or sister. I soon realized at eight years old how fragile life was. I didn't know how someone I never met or was even "visible" could die. I remember my friend and I taking our gift all boxed up to my mother. I guess, in my child like mind I figured that maybe if she had the quilt the baby would come back to use it. Of course that never happened. I spent my childhood summers gardening; planting seeds, weeding things out, working hard and watching the plants produce fruit. I knew my father told me if you don't pick the "fruit" the plants will stop producing it. My girlfriend and I were also master "transplanters". We would find anything in the woods or at the side of the road that we thought was an attractive plant and bring it back home to be planted in our playhouse garden. I grew up on a small farm and marveled at waking up to a new colt in the field or a fluffy chick in the hen house. We always had puppies, kittens and the like. Some of them were "transplants or repurposed" pets that got left at our place. What joy they brought. We watched them grow, loved them and then like all things they went on their earthly way. This morning I pulled out a cantaloupe from the veggie drawer in our fridge. We have had a nice amount of these from our garden this year. With summer coming to an end, the plants have begun to slow; much as we all do. So, I was saving this cantaloupe for the weekend. Note to self... next time use your resources when they are there. I am now hoping to find another one in the garden when I go out in a bit. This silly piece of fruit caused me ponder that we too are like the garden vines. We are planted or we plant. We grow and we watch growth. Most of us hope to reproduce and wish for our seeds to carry on that tradition when they mature. A vine in the garden is there for the soul purpose of reproducing its self. If we harvest and the sun and weather permits some will produce for years. Others have but a single season and only one harvest. Some of us get "transplanted or repurposed"; a blessing for sure. Sending my daughter out with things that I used and enjoyed and some of them her grandparents did; gives these lifeless objects "new life". We as humans always seem to be chasing our own life so much. I personally always feel as though by the time I catch one "era" the next is already upon me. It is like the puppy in the grass that can't catch his tail. Plants and animals seem to have a much more direct path. "Be planted", grow, reproduce, and die. Humans have so much "stuffed in between" these four phases. I am at one of those "stuffed in between" cross roads. I am staring at my wasted cantaloupe. yes, my mind sometimes works in weird ways. I realize that as my children grow and move on; this is a chance to grow some more, even though I thought I was done "growing". This is a season for my husband and I to "produce" things in a new and different way. There will be work ahead of us; like the gardens of our past. I am hoping that this time maybe things will slow down just a bit and allow us to actually breathe in the essence of the past and the freshness of the future. Whether we are ready to be transplanted in the world it is happening. God has given us a gift that plant, animals (and some humans) don't always have. This gift is the ability to take all that we have been given and given to others and reshape it into a beautiful (and hopefully slower paced) second (or third etc) go around in life. I think this time I will always use the cantaloupe in its peak, enjoying its aroma, and flavor. Some gifts only appear once, maybe twice. Go out and enjoy life in what ever phase you are in. Some things like the kitchen table get repurposed most do not. Embrace what is before you, while things are still fresh. Don't be a "soggy" cantaloupe.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

Love and Letters

Well here I sit after a good weekend. I have reflected on the past week and am looking to the future. We have an upcoming marriage in our household. This event has been a hard one to get moving on. We are excited for our daughter and her amazing fiance' but there have been other obstacles. First is the economy, we are on a very tight budget and the celebration just keeps getting bigger and bigger. This large guest list of course lead to more and more mouths and oh my more expense. I suppose this is what happens when you merge two large Catholic families. Our wedding party is spread out and things seem to the point of painful to organize. My daughter seems to be in a perpetual state of frustration with everything. Can you say, "Eight post offices and over 100 miles"? Yes, that is the effort it took to find the stamps she wanted. Now mind you I am not in the habit of doing something that extreme but when other things just don't appear to be happening and you have a beautiful bride with huge tears in her eyes over what is the "last straw". Mom does those things. By the way, she ended up with her gold wedding ring stamps! Our daughter has really been very cautious in her selections for her big day, but a wedding with 200 guests no matter how simple is not really "all that simple". A few days ago I posted a note on our farm's face book page about writing a hand written letter to someone and mailing it (it just seemed nice). Remember when that used to happen? Our farm is in the business "if you will" of helping us to remember life's simpler things. After weeks of looking at what seems to be nothing but bills and fliers trying to sell you more junk, why not? Handwritten letters seem like such a welcome change from the asking of us: to the checking on our neighbors and family with something from our hands, that was lead with our hearts. Nobody really gets these wonderful gifts anymore. My husband is always sending me such loving notes to brighten my day. With the increasing use of computers I once told him that I would like a few to save. Something in his writing to tuck in a drawer and savor when we are old. Although I must add a disclaimer if he reads this..please don't stop sending me love notes on the computer. I suppose we send correspondence more often and without as much effort (which has it's own merits). Sometimes the effort of a gift is greater than the gift. Have we as a society begun to loose this quality. My husband also told me the other day that there is talk of removing handwriting from the school systems in a few years. What a tragic loss for future generations of texters and tweeters; one that they won't even miss. One of my most treasured possessions is a note from my grandmother when I was getting married. She never lived to see the union but in a small blue shoe box was an assortment of funny little kitchen gadgets. I am sure several were donated to her for this cause by those who knew me and were from some of her dear friend's kitchens. There was also an inexpensive paper back book on household hints. Which I have actually used many times and still have. Most precious, was a note written on what appears to be half a page out of her address book (Grandma Berg was very frugal). She washed and dried foil and plastic baggies. The note was nothing out of the ordinary just a piece of paper in her all to recognizable and beautiful script (although visibly shaky as she was very sick). It read "For your new life, I hope these are helpful. Much love, Grandma Berg". Grandma died in the winter before I was married but her note tucked in a safe spot in my home has allowed her to be with me through 25 years of marriage. A reminder of someones love. Incidentally, my mother also has a note that is barely legible given to her by her mother a few days before she passed away. My grandmother had lost her ability to speak due to the ALS that took over her body. The note my mother treasures says "I love you; so tired". This note is in my mother's Bible. Back to the wedding; things have been well, out of sorts. Try as we will to get things on track I suppose it is like most weddings there are boulders to move. Yesterday I checked the mail after running errands and in it were many RSVP cards that made me smile and I knew would make my daughter smile. These were the first to be returned. There was also a small card about the size of the others but of a different color addressed to me. I got home and called "the bride" to the kitchen her face, as expected "lit up" when I handed her the reply cards. I sat down with her at the counter as she opened her treasures. I opened my envelope and found a lovely handmade invitation from a dear friend for a shower for my daughter. What thought and effort must have gone into this loving gesture to celebrate, a once in a lifetime moment in my daughter's life. Rest assured that whenever we see this lovely card our hearts feel lighter and there is a feeling of being cared about. I set it out on the antique sewing machine in our kitchen to admire and remind me of good things. Thank you to my dear friend, for her special gift yesterday. It seems to have made not just my day, but the whole process ahead of us a more beautiful journey.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

You never know who sees your yoke.

My last entry ended with "wear your yoke with a smile; you never know who may be watching". I try to do that most of the time. This year has been a real page turner for our family. I haven't always worn a smile and last week was one of those weeks. Sometimes because we are human we fail at things despite our best efforts. While raising five children our house is often crazy. Not everyone is always pleased as we frequently roll with the majority. Last week there was no majority. It happens. Everybody wanted to get away for a few days before school started. The school year starting this fall signifies for us a major change in our household. Until now we had four of our five still living at home (most of the time). This year our daughter will be married Oct. 8th; she will be moving to Fargo N.D. Our middle son who is a pharmacy student in St. Louis got his first internship and for the most part will now reside in St.Louis full time. Our younger two are beginning their last two years of high school. The older of the two is planning on attending school at Mizzou next fall. That leaves us with one. In one years time we will go from four children at home to one. "One". Talk about a change. My husband wanted "one" last chance to get everybody together. Finances, as is the case for most families right now are tight so our options were limited. Everybody trying to be respectful of the other was reluctant to make a choice. This went on so long that we ended up upset with everybody and everything due to lack of planning. Words were said, tears cried, and emotions ran high. A lot of stress over something that was supposed to be enjoyed. We ended up pulling most of it together and had a pretty decent time. Some of us were still disappointed for one reason or the other. For me (and I believe my husband) it was not the one event that flopped but what seemed to be an end to a wonderful era of past happy times with children who were moving on. I am not a "crier". As a child I remember thinking how annoying a "crybaby woman" was. I am now "her". I have cried for no apparent reason and at any given moment for weeks now (I have also been easily upset/annoyed in general). The last few days have shed light on this. I have watched my friends who have children leaving for college become moody & cry the same way. Most of them have one child heading on to great adventures. Three in one year! really?!? How can this be? It took almost 12 years to GET them all here. I am excited for the wonderful things before them. For a parent watching your child move forward as a happy and confident young adult is an amazing process (we have one older boy as well who is married, with 3 children and in the USAF). One was hard and I went through some of these emotions. Why was I so blind sided this time. Who knows. Different children and situations; non the less it smacked me hard. I have not worn my yoke well. It happens. My friends have worn theirs adorned with neon signs of emotion as well. I was watching them. They are watching me. We are watching each other as we go through this time of wonder and change in our lives. I am blessed to have such wonderful friends to share this with. I will try for my children to keep my yoke in check; but make no promises to not be emotional or cry at a moments notice. My children will think I am crazy but my friends and God will know it is just my heart sorting out life. I am not ready for this part of my journey to change paths but it is. I need to focus, to make sure that I am just turning a corner and not driving into a ditch (last week I was sure I needed to be backed over several times & left there). Tomorrow is the first day of school for my two youngest boys. I will have a junior and a senior in high school. I will ask for God's guidance to help them be their best. I have an amazing gift that every parent is given. The gift is the ability to watch a young life unfold and take form. That is something to be watched with a smile and trusted unto our Father. I will have to have faith and enjoy my senior and all his excitement in moving on to become a young man of God. I will also trust that same faith that my junior will also excel in his school year and do amazing things. May all parents who will sending children off into the world, be it kindergarten through college; pray for each other to enjoy the journey, have faith and to watch and make sure each others yokes don't become to heavy. I will leave you with words from Romans 1:12. ~" I'm eager to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours. In this way, each of us will be a blessing to the other"~ Thanks to my friends for letting me see their yoke; you never know who will be watching.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

Toddlers, Tea & Trust

I have spent a good portion of my adult life counseling parents on all the little details that occur in the first few years of parenthood. I have discussed and taught about pregnancy, delivery, breastfeeding and all the other concerns that occur during the first 2 years of parenting. A lot of what most new parents need is justification that there is a concern and reassurance that it will get better. I have always been better at sorting out problems and solutions for others, than myself. I used to always tell these new parents that sometimes in the circus of life you are just to close to the arena to actually see what is occurring in center ring. I remember many years ago a moment that shattered my "it will get better, have faith speech" that I always gave new parents. I worked from home and also home educated my 5 children. The older children knew if Mommy had a client that they were to go upstairs and play quietly for a bit and keep the younger children entertained. The rule also had an unspoken addition that unless somebody was bleeding to death or the house was on fire, don't bug mom till her client is out the door. This worked very well and usually once or twice a day the children got a 20-30 minute "recess" that they were quite happy about. The young lady I was meeting with this particular day had been to see me twice since the birth of her son. She had also paid a visit to her physician who sent her back to me (I was at the time a board certified lactation counselor). I met her at the door, she was in tears before her feet got over the threshold. She colasped onto my couch and announced that at 2 weeks into her parenting career she was failing. She sat there sobbing & explaining. I assumed correctly that the "breastfeeding thing" still wasn't all "magic and love" just yet. About this time one of my older children peeked down the staircase and said,"Mom, I need to tell you something" I replied, "in a bit okay?" to which the child vanished. Back to the young mother on my couch. I examined the situation. Her nipples were cracked, the baby wouldn't latch on properly, her pediatrician had just diagnosed both the baby and herself with yeast infection 2 days ago and to top all this off her nipples were not just cracked or bleeding. I honestly thought they looked like one of them was going to just fall off. While handing her a tissue I happened to look up. A different child was at the top of the stairs flagging my attention with waving arms. I excused myself for a second and went over to ask what they needed. Again I was told "Mom, we need to show you something". This time in a somewhat wiser fashion(or so I thought) I asked, "is anybody hurt?" The answer was no. At that point I asked if it could wait just a few minutes more? A nod was given and the child went back upstairs. I went back to my client proceeded to get her some breastfeeding "gadgets" to help with the sore nipples. Then I went on my classic chat " about how this will get better". Sometimes as parents we just don't see the end in sight and we get really overwhelmed. We also discussed that all the breastfeeding posters made it look like "God, sent us instructions". In reality we didn't get anything but the "tools" to make it work. Breastfeeding was a learning process for both the parent and the infant. As I was telling her that most of parenting was like this; I heard my daughter call from the stairs.... "Mooooooo..mmm". "What", I asked becoming a little annoyed (it had been less than 20 min. since I had answered the door)? She asked me if the boys had told me what was going on? I replied no, but my wheels were now spinning. Before I could imagine anything worse than what was actually happening, she blurted out in her usual "mother hen" voice(being the only girl she appointed herself "mom's assistant" years before) "Well.. I just want you to know that I told the boys that there should not be a tea party but they let him do it anyway". Proceeding a a faster rate of speech she began to add details. "Mom, one of the little boys has taken the WHOLE little table and ALL 4 chairs AND all HER dishes (she was now running like a steam engine) and the stuffed animals (I heard a giggle from the young mother on the couch) and the cookies she gave him ...AND was out on the roof! She then slowed down and very methodically added again, for effect... "with ALL her dishes! At this moment I vividly remember I should be panicking. Instead, I calmly turned to the young mother and told her I would back in a minute. I went up retrieved the 3 year old child who had removed the storm window and climbed out onto the flat roof outside his bedroom (If you know us you will know who this was. Yes, he was 3 and did this in less than 15 minutes time). Followed by instructing him to stay put. I climbed through the window myself and sorta threw everything back inside into a heap. Closing the window grabbed the child in question and informed the others that "nobody had been given permission to play outside". I have know idea why I even said this, it just seemed like a good way to cover my bases. I came to the bottom of the stairs apologizing profusely to my client, she hung up her phone and smiled. She looked at me as I stood there before her with an angry toddler under my arm (I had broken up his party). I was feeling embarrassment and failure. I mustered up a smile. She then replied that she would be fine now and had to go. As I closed the door behind her, I hung my head. I was sure that my counseling days were over and that the department of social services would be there shortly for my children. Two weeks later the young mom stopped by my house very unexpectedly. I was assuming she was just ID "ing" me for the DFS. As I opened the door she stepped in and handed me an envelope and thanked me for the help. Her breasts were better and breastfeeding was actually going really well. I asked what had finally worked. She replied it was her husbands words to her on the phone, as she sat on my couch that day 2 weeks ago. I looked at her and asked what he had said. She smiled and said that he told her if I could retrieve a toddler, a picnic table, 4 chairs etc etc from the roof as swiftly as I did and still manage to help them that they could do anything. I stood there speechless. Her husband had actually been in the driveway watching with amusement as my 3 year old set up his party and then as several others had tackled pulled and prodded him to come in. He had told her that there would be bigger mountains to move and to just have faith. She gave me a hug and left. I opened the envelope, it was a thank-you note and a gift certificate for dinner which read, enjoy a quiet dinner with your husband but maybe not on the roof. This past week was one of those that tested my faith and my parenting. My husband was the one this time who told me to have faith. Even though most of the time we know this, when we are in the middle of turmoil we just don't advise ourselves to always follow this advice. Have faith in HIS plan for you, for our heavenly Father will not put before you anything which HE already does not have knowledge that you can handle. There were many days when the young child in this story tested my faith. Sometimes I was at the end of my rope and a ray of sunshine from above would restore peace in my life. He is almost grown and now we laugh together about all the stunts he pulled. When we do this I am reminded as humans we don't always have the ability to see beyond what is right in front of us. Sometimes we need to humble ourselves and lay before HIM, trusting that things will be okay. The day I sat with that young mother on my couch I was humbled and embarrassed about what had happened; yet there I was, unknowingly an example of faith through the everyday. Pray everyday for guidance and wear your yoke with a smile: you never know who may be watching you.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

Barn Cats & Naked Ladies (of course this will get your attention :)

This morning I got up and went out to water the garden and pull weeds from our front flower bed before the temp soared from a comfortable 90+ to a less desirable 100+. While out there one of our barn cats was weaving in and out of my hands as I pulled weeds. I petted him; he continued. I picked him up (risking hairy pajamas, we have no neighbors close by sooo... yes, I was in my pj's) he was relentless. Every time I reached for anything I had a cat laying on my hand. After several shoves and now ignoring him the best I could I was done pulling weeds. I turned on the garden sprinkler and started inside. About this time I stopped to admire in awe a patch of naked ladies that had mysteriously come up and bloomed over by our statue of Mary. If you are not familiar with these lilies they are a green leafy plant in spring and then they appear to die. After many weeks they miraculously reappear in what seems to me to be the most perfect moments and places. They are all but forgotten about and then there they are. I stood there admiring these flowers. I thought our chickens had destroyed them. As I stood there the cat continued to "talk" to me and weave in and out of my legs. I finally sat down at the picnic table. I sat there & thought about the time I fell in love with these magic pink lilies. I was pregnant with our third child & had been on bed rest for weeks. I was a little depressed about the situation and allowed to get up only for the restroom and a 10min shower once a day. I used my "restroom trips" to their fullest. I remember getting up one morning and these lovely pink flowers were peaking in my window just above the sill where nothing had been the day before. They filled me with joy for the remainder of their stay there. I could not be outside (I am a very outside person) they came to me right when I needed them. So began, and there is no better way to put it; "my love affair with naked ladies". Back to the cat. Yes, he was still there, rubbing and annoying me at an an ever increasing rate. Finally, I went inside leaving him and his furry backside outdoors. I got in poured some coffee and mentioned the lilies to my daughter and youngest son who were now eating banana bread at the kitchen counter. I sipped my coffee, sliced a piece of bread for myself and sat down. Just then it occurred to me. The cat wanted to be fed!!!! oops. I got up went down and poured some food in his bowl. His other two barn roomies gathered at the dish as well. How patient he had been while I became annoyed with his gestures of affection. How calmly he had remained by my side as I ignored him and pushed him away. He only wanted to be fed. There are many things in our life that need to be "fed", sometimes we just don't recognize it. Some things often become big nuisances when all they really need is a little tending to. I was again outside and I walked back over to admire the pink lilies. Something from nothing. A touch of beauty where yesterday, nothing existed. How many times in life do we ignore the kind & subtle nudges we get from God and others who care about us? How many times has our Lord's presence & HIS ability to take nothing and help us to make something; passed up because we just don't understand or "listen". Humans have evolved so much that sometimes we lose our ability to appreciate the simple or to trust our instincts. We should open our hearts to the quiet, listen to the strength of touch and pray for peace and understanding in our lives. Beauty and grace are all around us, if we look. Sometimes they spring from nothing in unexpected places and other times they are there annoying us like our barn cat and just need tending to. Listen to the things around you, not just the audible but the inaudible as well. You may be amazed at what Our Lord lays at your feet.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

Free gas & entitlement

A few days ago I went in to prepay for some gas; I always tend to pump more than I wanted. I stood there in line with my money and waited. When I got up to the register I had forgotten which pump my car was at. I'd like to call this short term memory loss but probably my mind used this patch of time to collect some other task. As I looked out to double check the pump number I turned to the cashier and commented something about making sure I had it on the right pump. He nodded, I jokingly replied, "Although I am sure the next guy would appreciate it if I put it on the wrong pump". I heard the young man behind the register utter a profound statement. His words rang clearly as he said, "Probably not". At this point I was the one nodding and went on about my business. I kept hearing these words though out the day and over the weekend. I pondered if someone would really appreciate this mishap if it occurred. I toyed with going and just leaving a prepaid amount on a pump and stalking the next guy who showed up but this of course (in my mind anyway) proved a bit tedious and creepy. So I spent the last few days people watching if you will on my own. Some of this was easy as the "test units" were all to obvious to spot, other times not so much. I came to a disturbing observation. Most of us don't appreciate what we have, where we are at in life or how we got there. We see this most often new babies who at their most infantile stage in life simply want what they want without the ability to care how it got there. We see this in older children and teens who want what they see or what their friends have without regard to who worked hard to provide it, often times being more than ungracious when their whims are not met. Teens and young adults do you think about how possible the things you have would be without your parents, and God? Most uncomfortable is when we see it in adults who are with out care or concern over who provided for them. I know most adults reading this are thinking well, "I provide for myself". Do you really? Oh sure most of us work bring home the bacon and fry it up and then watch our lives revolve around us. Do we ever look around at who enables us to to accomplish this? The little guy who buys our products, the co worker that prepared the spread sheets, the boss who employed us, our parents, the farmer who grew our food or even the person who might if we were in dire straights supply the food pantry. How about the rain that waters the crops, our health that allows us to go to our jobs and our family & friends who support guide and hold our hands when we can't always do for ourselves. These things and people are all part of who makes us who we are and able to provide for ourselves. We can not control what they provide or how they provide it. We frequently don't even care; we just want. We want the clothes, the car, the event, the toys, or the free gas and we are entitled to it. We live in a society of entitlement and it is hard to separate the; "I deserve this" from the "I am in awe of God's abundance". If I had left the gas pump with a free fill up would the next person really have appreciated it or would they have just taken without giving thanks? I really don't know. I would like to think we live in a "pay it forward" society but alas I have discovered we don't. It would be nice to see Gods mercy at work and find the guy at the pump with the free gas buying the next guy's gas or dropping off a donation at the food pantry or even taking a friend to lunch that might need a break. Heck, I would be in awe if the guy with the free gas even offered a cup of coffee to someone. Would he stop to even pray a word of thanks if the cash he didn't need to spend on gas was needed in his own life? If his need was met would he reach out to another. It is nice to know however that there is one person who always plays by the "pay it forward" rules. What a great man he is. Thank you God for all that I have and am. I am not sure we say thank you enough and really mean it. For ALL that we have is from you and part of your plan. Today if you read this, try paying it forward and saying or showing gratitude to those around you and to HIM.

Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

Smelling the Grass

My grandmother had a favorite saying which she lovingly cross stitched on to a wall hanging for me when I was in junior high school. The picture accompanying the saying is a mouse stepping gingerly onto a mouse trap to get some cheese. Being about 13 or so when grandmom gave me the wall hanging, I thought the mouse was cute and hung it in my bedroom. As I went through high school, college, work, marriage, and had children this wall hanging has moved from place to place with me. I always hung it somewhere. The mouse wasn't so cute to me as I matured but the gift was from someone dear so at some point I took the wall hanging down and stored it for safe keeping. I had not seen it for a few years and when we built our house & moved to the farm I came across this silly mouse. Needing something to hang in the laundry room I nailed a picture hook to the wall and placed the picture on it. Through all the years I had never really paid attention to the saying that my grandmom had actually put with the mouse; who I now realized was probably just trying to get dinner. I glanced at this picture the other day and realized that my grandmother was a wise woman. Through all the trials in life her favorite saying was with me. Sometimes we get so busy with the future that we don't really stop to breathe in the essence of today. We've all done it and we will all do this again and again in life we get preoccupied with the new job, or house, a wedding, a move, a new baby or some project consumes us. When we look back at the preciousness of that actual  moment in our life, we draw a blank or realize we didn't savor the whole package. As we mature many of  us wish we had slowed down, enjoyed those college years more, not been in such a hurry to get that big mortgage or rocked that baby a little longer. It seems as humans we are always trying to achieve something or obtain something we don't have. As I mowed grass today, I mowed around a swing set that my husband and oldest child built together. That swing has been moved, reconstructed and used for many years. I looked at it today and heard a small voice "mommy push me". How many times I had heard that over the years and how many times was I too busy to get dinner started, rush my family somewhere or even take that child in and get them ready for a nap or bed that I didn't do it long enough or sometimes at all. I thought at moments like this "boy, these are trying times" when will I get caught up or be able to to tackle whatever was the issue of the day. Today my children don't need me to push them on the swing they do need other things from me still. As I have gotten older I know how fast this thing we call time really does fly. I try to take more time to spend with my family and to enjoy the moment. The grass today smelled so good and the sun on my shoulders was amazing. It was hot; really hot. Not long ago 8 hours of mowing would have made me cranky. I am trying a little harder to live in the moment. I savored watching my son help me outside and enjoyed the silly conversation that occurred as we worked. When things get hurried or ahead of me now I stop to think. I know my grandmother's cross stitched mouse, which is hung where I see it many times a day in the laundry room is spot on. It reads "Remember these trying times will be the good old days in the years to come".

Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

Choices

There are many choices in life. The good...the bad. The decisions that seem like the right thing at the time and those that you have to just jump and pray for. This summer our youngest son made a choice to attend a service camp and a church retreat instead of playing football. I say instead because he conscientiously knew that attending these activities would cause him to be either dropped from the team or to sit on the bench most of the season because he was not available for camp. He had once had a coach tell him in 9th grade when he left practice early for a holy day of obligation "to get his priorities straight". Doyle and I neither one asked him to make this choice but he choose to do so on his own. He had attended weight training all summer is a good athlete and enjoys this sport a lot. His rational was to help others, become a better person, to grow up a lot and to stretch himself to reach for the pole most kids don't climb. He made it back from the service retreat a young man of stature and holiness. His compassion for others around him was greater and his vision of the world we live in was broader than a football field (as a manner of speaking). This camp was not fluff. The young people who were there worked hard everyday in 100+ degree heat. They cleaned outside, built things, served the needy, prayed for the unborn, rocked children who don't always get their needs met & got to know individuals that others pass by. At the end of a hot week after working hard he came home with a smile on his face and an appreciation for a part of our world a lot of teens don't see. The week between the two camps he (along with his brother) again gave in service to others and helped at the fairgrounds they wired buildings, hung lights, hooked up air conditioners, cleaned barns and helped with the kids games in the heat (they did enjoy the time with friends in the evenings too). On Sunday I took him to his second camp this one was not a service camp, but a retreat for young men to venture on outings and explore who they are and who they want to become. The boys discussed the things that most people don't touch, let alone teens; like, "what kind of human being are you". He discovered mentors of the highest standings and made friends that will last a lifetime. I picked him up today and found a young man at peace with himself and those around him. I asked him on the way home if he had a good time? he replied the best! After inquiring about the weeks activities which were amazing, I ventured to the question of "did he feel he made the right choice about his summer camps". His answer was a resounding "yes". Football and sports are wonderful, all of our boys have played and some will play again but the wonder of his choices is that there is life outside of sports and after sports. I am proud of him for making a difficult choice; that he presented to himself and for being so self assured in his decision. I am also proud of the child who discovered this summer that life isn't all fun and games but always truly a blessing to be a part of. He engaged in life this summer and I know will be a better man when he is older because of the choices he is making today. God designed us to be whole and complete. HE wants us to stretch ourselves where we are unsure and to test the waters by reaching for the unknown. HE wishes every part of our lives to interconnect with HIS love & plan. Thessalonians 5:23 states "May God himself, the God who makes everything holy & whole, make you holy and whole, put you together~spirit, soul and body ~and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ". Our son chose well this summer, I feel he is on his way to becoming a Godly young man who will be whole in life. AND YES! he "has his priorities straight."

Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

Why we live where we do....

My husband and I affectionately dubbed our town "the place that eats it young" sometimes it is the everyday grind that brings us to our knees to think this way. Sometimes it is the everyday grind; the trials we face that brings us to our knees in a different manner all together. It is no secret that life throws you curve balls. Ultimately it is your state of mind that allows you to deal effectively with these blows. Sometimes it is the people in your presence that hold your hand and help you to see the sun. My son and I went to pick up his car today the wait was killing him. After saving, doing without and driving "the bomb" the taste of finally being a car owner had him at the bank 30 min early today. The transaction went well and the young lady we bought the car from escorted us to her home to even get an extra set of tires and parts. Things change fast in life. These quick changes sometimes exceed our minds ability to swallow the moment. As my boy drove back into town (30min drive) feeling good about his new wheels, his battery light went on. As he pulled into the bank to finish paperwork his new "steed" died. Frustrated, embarrassed and overwhelmed I could see the makings of what later became his statement for the day; "That's it, I am just going to rely on public transportation forever". This was to be the mantra for the public outpouring of compassion that came from our banker, our insurance agent and our mechanic. Our banker assured him it was okay and not to worry, although he did. Our insurance agent dropped what he was doing and drove over to this young man, now at the garage. Our mechanic stopped and took the car right in; he knew my son was crushed. We found him sitting on the curb with his head against his knees. Our agent took all the info and the pictures he needed and assured him things would be fine. As the agent left the news came that the repair would be fixed in the morning as soon as the part arrived. Our mechanic assured him as well that the repair just happened and that his car was fine. In the middle of this the young lady we bought the car from even called and wanted to send money for the repair she was so sorry (he declined her offer, saying she felt so bad). When all was said and done the car won't go home with our son tonight; a major disappointment for sure. He has pride in knowing he is an automobile owner. More importantly this young adult is the owner of a piece of mind that the people around him care. He knows for sure that he is forever to be at times, reliant on "public transportation" but knot the kind he had referred to earlier but the kind that comes when God reaches the hearts of those around you and allows you to ride on HIS shoulder and theirs through crisis. We should have his car tomorrow and he will also have the love of those who were there for him when he needed it. Special thanks to Hope at Newburg Bank, Tom & Noah at Tom's Garage and Tony at American insurance you all went beyond what was expected.
Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards

A tuesday ...

After surviving the county fair it occured to me that we needed a blog of our life here in rural Missouri. I wish I had done this sooner but better late than never. So here goes entry # 1 :). Well most of our clan is out and about this week. Our 20 year old is home for two days selecting a car. He had an accident about a year ago and has been without wheels since that time. I am impressed with his smile and his positive attitude durring this time. His patience has paid off as we are going today to pick up his new car. Well not new, but new to him. he has driven "the bomb" the last few weeks. The bomb is a a nearly 20 year old Bonneville with NO air. Having received his first internship he had to have some sort of transportation to and from school and work. My husband Doyle was nice enough to give up his "bomb" to the cause Lol. Doyle has since been, for several weeks at the mercy of whoever could take him to work etc. It is amazing to me how much a family that loves each other can accomplish. I once asked my mother in law "when do things get easy?" her reply was "never, you just learn to roll with the issues better". She was right; not that I don't have days that the punches aren't there. Sometimes they are old wounds that resurface and other days it is a new blow but we always seem to find the courage to put our trust in God and let HIM put us where we need to be. Today he and I will need to be at the bank this afternoon, so my son who has bummed rides and driven what was loaned to him can purchase his first car (he is buying this on his own!!!) I am so proud of his patience, hard work and trust that things would work out for him, I can't tell what he is getting right now he is SO excited and wants to share that news himself and I can't blame him; he's earned it! To my son; you are amazing! On a side note he just came in from getting ready and brought me a cup of coffee :)

Copyright © 2011-2012 Micheline Edwards
All rights reserved to by Micheline Edwards