Save Your Salty Sparkle for Later... Now is not the time to Share.

Are You Like Spilled Salt & Glitter?

Sparkle all You want from your own space....This morning while having a chat with a dear friend in Italy. We were discussing how blessed we currently feel. We both have our health, a home and space to walk safely even though there are restraints. Anxiety and fear are high for many right now.

Freedom in our country is a most valuable and wonderful thing. It is something that in many never experience in some places on earth. It is because of its spectacular value and importance that we covet it with such strong convictions. Are strong ideals and open speech combined with our freewill granted by God create a sense of strong will, determination, sass and entitlement. This could be why in other nations we are not thought of fondly. This is the foundation by which we were founded and have continued to prosper.

In my lifetime and certainly not in my children’s lifetime we have never been asked to do something of such great magnitude as a mass quarantine, against our will. Our neighbors are fearful of losing what they hold dear. They are afraid for their health, their safety and their freedom to speak and choose.

Our freedom while of epic value and not to be taken for granted or squandered is also something that stands in the way of creating us great loss right now. 

We have within our power the supplies (if we do not consume with greed), the space, the shelter and the medical care to ride out this storm.

We have been championed by other places in the world for our swift actions and the ability to stop the current issue in its tracks. We started out ahead of the game, with potential to nip things in the bud but are losing ground quickly. So why is this so hard? 

The reason is because we have freedom.

Our virtue has become our vice.

Freedom is a wonderful thing. Right now our freedom to do what we choose, when we choose and how we wish, is being threatened. This is a temporary inconvenience, but our fear responses are on high alert and many of us just can’t comply. Many are staying home; their fear is telling them to hide in their burrows till mamma bear calls the all clear.  The rest are running around like town crier and leaving an invisible but very damaging mess in their footprints.

Have you ever spilled salt or glitter and tried to clean it up; Only to find particles for days or months afterwards?  Our quarantine is like this, we are being asked to stay in our containers for a bit, so we don’t leave particles behind for others to find. No matter how careful you are or how much you clean something that involves glitter; there is almost always a few pieces here and there that get stuck to other things.

Nobody wants to lose their freedom or be told what to do but here’s the catch none of us want to lose anything… not our jobs, homes, cars, food, possessions, security or most of all our most cherished... our loved ones.

We must trust. Trust is a hard thing for most of us; even me,  but we have to right now. 

If you can’t believe the news sources or your own wisdom; ask a friend who is a doctor or nurse, ask someone you know in another country, ask God.  Your medical friends may tell you that yes, the threat is real, your friends in other countries will agree but they know that allowing others to do their jobs is paramount. 

Ask God… if you apply your faith we are taught above all else to “Trust in Him” and to “Have faith”.

Friends I am asking you to stay home for your safety, for the welfare of others and to allow this short few weeks to be a cleansing period and a time of renewal with our families and with God.; 

After all it is Lent. Its this not living the season with gusto?

Nobody is taking your freedom today. We are asking you to sacrifice for a short while for the better good. Unless everyone follows the rules, we are like spilled salt or glitter that just keeps showing up stuck to something when you don’t want it there. 

Sure, it hurts to disinfect or stitch up a bad wound. It hurts even more if it gets infected and you have to lance it or worse remove the limb. Temporary pain for gain is the answer here.

The current situation has no room for even a single grain of salt left out to be found or we will start cleaning up this mess repeatedly.

Demanding or taking freedom or using free will when you are placing others at grave risk isn’t freedom at all:  it is simply displacing your inconvenience on others and creating a greater possible heartache for someone else.

The longer we refuse to quarantine ourselves the longer this will take. So we can do this calmly while we are all mostly safe, healthy and have supplies or we can keep the particles showing up for months and wait until there is nothing.

Please stay home unless you are a person of absolute need (law, medical personal etc.) The more tightly closed you keep your container (just immediate family if possible) the better and faster this will be over.

My son and good friend both physicians, fear that because some of us can’t play by the rules, they will cost others great loss, much greater than most can imagine. Both have stated this could go on for months unless people pay attention to the warnings.

There will be time to spread your salty sparkle around…. this is not that time!

Stay home and place your trust in God

Micheline Edwards © 2020

Faith, Humility, Forgiveness & Grace

So... “It’s been awhile”.  The Mass readings for today along with an insightful morning conversation prompted this blog. I usually write when my mind is unable to clear something. Sometimes I feel that a particular life event would provide benefit to others either through humor or lesson. Faith is often a cornerstone to me beginning a blog entry; how am I living out my faith?  A series of events this week prompted me to evaluate faith, humility, forgiveness, grace and ultimately love. How do we love and place what He asks of us into action?

Christianity teaches faith but what is faith? Is it not the belief in that which you cannot see?

Christianity teaches humility but what is humility? Is it not the ability to place ourselves in a position of the lowly to render ourselves open to understanding, kindness and love?

Christianity teaches forgiveness but what is forgiveness? Is it not being able to humble ourselves to faith in our understanding or lack thereof, love others as Christ loved from a place of humility?

Christianity teaches grace but what is grace? Is it not ones ability to lean upon faith, be humble and offer forgiveness and not lean upon our own understanding but what Christ asks of us?  Is it not but the cornerstone to the greatest teaching which is love.

In life we are often witness to or victims of less than loving situations. As Christians, we are taught to have faith that things will be right ? To place our trust in God. This is often something we have a difficult time applying  to ourselves let alone to others outside of our own" personal" human bubble. We build walls, make excuses and try to protect from harm. God asks us to be open, understanding and love unconditionally. We are lead to be humble and even if we do not understand a transgression to forgive (judgement is not ours)? We are asked to offer grace to those who we may feel are the least deserving of our love?

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” ~1 John 1:9

We are taught as Christians and myself as a Catholic to confess then to move forward with confidence, fully forgiven and free from guilt.

Why do we witness those who have poured their hearts out: being offered hostile judgement? He himself, the truth of in life can offer grace and love? Why is this so hard for us? We are human.  Our human condition opens our hearts to hurt. Our human condition often places blinders on our eyes to see with faithful eyes that things will be ok. Our human hearts are subject to hurt. Our humanness doesn’t always allow us to be humble. Our human condition doesn’t always end up offering grace and love to those who need it most.

Christianity teaches us that the greatest of things is love. Unwavering, humble, often undeserved, given with a heart of forgiveness when we don’t always understand.

Christianity equals faith, humility, forgiveness and grace which equal love. Love the greatest gift we can offer to another; even greater is this gift when undeserved.

We are not here to place judgement but to love.

Micheline Edwards © 2019

Momma to Mom Journey

 I saw the image below this morning and snagged it; not sure who to credit but it is brilliant. It evokes some deep thoughts of love & motherhood in me. The photo (above) is one my daughter took of me with my granddaughter. A mother's love knows no boundaries and this is sometimes a fine or awkward line. Most women either have or will travel through these phases.... "Momma, Mommy and Mom". I personally have taken this journey 5 times and am now watching it unfold with my daughter & daughter in laws. I've watched this process since I became a mother for the first time; especially when watching strangers with older children or even when observing my own mother & mother in law (even when well intended moments went astray). What I never understood is how this evolution prepares our children so beautifully for their first solo flights & leaves our hearts so full but yet empty all at the same time. Our minds can travel from momma to mom much more gracefully than our hearts. What we often fail to remember when dealing with other women especially or own mothers or mother in laws (judgment etc); is that they will always be “momma”. Our children are always our babies no matter the stage they are in. They grow up, move on, and start their own families. They are always our family even after they begin their own. The point of this post is to remind the grown daughters & daughter in laws (myself included) to remember when dealing with your mother's or mother in laws that you or your spouse were once and always will be the tiny child who called them "momma". Men, this blog post was written with women and mothers in mind but as much as you love your children and always want to do the best for them your mothers intentions are usually the same.  This isn't about boundaries but compassion for where someone else's heart is. Often I see in mom groups such venom spewed about our mothers (mother in laws especially) when often it was honestly love for a child. That child might be an adult with their own family and ways of doing things but to a mother you cannot just turn off concerns, love or involvement. Not asking to debate that there needs to be separation. I have no desire to be involved 24-7 with my grown children but asking grown children use respect for where a mother of grown/older children might be viewing things from. Years ago I learned that you never know what someone else might be going through, to never say never and to not judge. 

I would like to encourage/challenge each of us here to pray for the next 7 days for your mothers and your spouse’s mother's. Pray that you learn compassion & understanding for their journey that allow your ears & hearts to be open to their words or actions and what might have created these. Pray that you learn to treat them with love & respect even if you don't always agree about doing things particular ways. 
I did this year's ago and also still do when I get frustrated with either of our mothers. It changed my heart and creates more joyful relationships. 💗
Try to imagine the advice Mary might have given as a mother or mother in law to her daughter's given today's world.

Micheline Edwards © 2017, revised 2019

Happiness and Our Relationships

It’s been a while since I've written a new entry for this blog. Life has been exuberantly and marvelously busy. It seems that I often begin an entry with the “it’s been a while” approach maybe because it is when I am feeling called in my soul to answer a mindful moment that I am inspired to write. I belong to a Catholic moms group and a member recently asked if anyone in the group married over fifteen years actually had a happy marriage?

My heart wept for this woman. She had had missed the memo that true happiness comes from within.

My initial response was prayers for her and her family but then I sat back and thought for a bit. My husband and I just celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary this past Sunday. We of course have had our ups and downs. There are days or even extended periods of time that honestly I wake up and look at him and think “I am not sure I really even like him right now”. I cannot imagine my life without him though. I know this is hard core honesty but I believe the foundations of a good relationship are, good communication, honestly and trust. If someone asked him about our relationship; I trust that he would honestly communicate the same answer.

The definition of a good marriage isn’t about a hallmark moment, that perfectly staged photo shoot, or putting the toilet seat down. The very essence of being joyful is subjective to each of us defining our own parameters for gratitude and what is achievable and right. Nobody, spouse or otherwise can create or be held responsible for our happiness. I am not saying this because I have super powers and am always just and perfect in my expectations of my spouse or others but because when my expectations, my ideals and my gratitude get out of whack; my life isn’t joyful. Society sets us up for the unachievable and often for disappointment or discontentment.

Years ago I named my blog White Picket Fences & Grace because I saw a lot of discrepancies between what we were fed by society to be right, factual or expected and what was actually on point. As humans particularly in the western culture that we live in we tend to be judgmental, compare ourselves to others, to covet or show jealously and to believe what the masses paint for us to be the absolute truth.  There is only one absolute truth and that is God.

We have this false sense of a white picket fence life that doesn’t exist except in a storybook and let’s face it how boring would that novel actually be without the adventure? What would the characters gain from their experience if not some sort of lesson or knowledge; which is often based (sadly so) on some trial or tribulation they overcame. I believe & tell my clients (I am a Women’s Life & Health Coach) that there are no bad experiences in life just learning opportunities.

A good relationship or marriage isn’t about expecting others to provide your happiness. Who wants to bear that burden? Let’s face it we are humans and good or bad we have free will. By having free will, we are very imperfectly perfect and we will often disappoint, anger or sadden those we love; even if not intentionally. This is where forgiveness is important too. A happy life or relationship is about learning from our past, doing our best to honor good, showing forgiveness as we would wish it shown to us, and being real about what truly matters.

Every emotion we have good or bad can be amplified by the actions of others but ultimately a good marriage or relationship isn’t designed to provide us with happiness (we must find that within ourselves) but to become one in God’s plan for us, to support each other in carrying out His word.

Happiness is found in our relationships with others when we honor His plan and desires for ourselves and bestow these graces in return upon those we choose to surround ourselves with.

Micheline Edwards © 2019 Five Children and a Farm,,,White Picket Fences & Grace

#fivechildrenandafarm #ridiculouslyamazinglife #easeandgrace #simplebalance #girldropyourcape

Gratitude Circles

Building gratitude in our lives is not something we do overnight but something that we work on over time. Being thankful isn’t something we can just do occasionally because it would be like driving on a tire that had huge holes in it. November is the month of being thankful. It’s interesting to see so many discuss what they are thankful about for over the next thirty days when this is followed by a wave of what they want. Silly but many don’t realize that be thankful also allows us to get more out of life. Thankfulness is not only a key element to happiness but gratitude is the vehicle that drives us from our past to our future with #easeandgrace. Gratitude is something we should focus on so much more than we do, especially when things aren't going well. Being grateful for our past not only creates contentment in our lives but also fills our happiness bank to move forward. Our past creates who we are and allows us to move forward with knowledge that makes us wiser in our journey. I am thankful for my past the good and the bad. Often the bad became more of a reference or catalyst for positive change than the good or easy. If we salute and show grace when looking back at where we have been then as we move forward with new goals, aspirations and dreams not only are they sweeter upon achievement but they are more visible in our lives thus creating a a circle of gratitude. A gratitude circle enables us to move through life: through the good and bad knowing who we are, where we are going (even in the darkest moments) and to react to the adverse with a sense of well being. All we do starts to become a smooth motion of ease and grace. The more we thank our past for shaping us, the less we need to "try" to be gracious. Gratitude becomes the very core of who we are;

moral fibers of being thankful are woven so strongly in our being that they can ultimately create scaffolding for immense growth in our future. We actually become gracious, thankful humans instead of just going through the motions. We become the very essence of grace and begin to spread this to those around us. The gratitude circle isn’t an instant happy or a sudden acknowledgement of a recent gift. Building a gratitude circle, that is solid and that builds momentum rolling easily through life is the cumulative of hard knocks, gratitude, positive reactions and repeating. Every time we repeat this we make our circle smoother and its circumference and movement becomes “more”. More of what we want need and desire. You see loves if you want more in life, you must acknowledge with a grateful heart not only the amazing but the potholes in life as well. Find a golden nugget even in the low points and attach a lesson or positive to your wheel even from these moments. A child’s fable tells of three pigs that each build a house entirely of a given material. None of these withstand the wolf’s persistence when he shows up at their door. Had they opened their minds to gratitude for what they had, shared their resources and reacted differently sharing what they each had with joyous hearts their homes most certainly would have withstood any storm so much better (even if significant damages had been done). Build your core with all of your resources. Use the good, the bad, the amazing and the events that knock the wind out of you to create a circle of gratitude that cannot be stopped once it is set in motion. There will be speed bumps that slow your wheel down but build graciousness so solid that you can’t be derailed from your dreams! I challenge each of you to acknowledge and show gratitude not for just the good but for the difficult paths you have walked in life that created the person you are today. What journeys have added the most reinforcement to your circle of gratitude? Copyright 2018 Micheline Edwards #coachandafarm #girldropyourcape #simplebalance #momtofive #ridiculouslyamazinglife

Let Your Vibrant Self Shine

Life is too short buy the lipstick. We’ve all heard this common cliché but of course, referring to shoes. I am certainly not opposed to a great pair of new shoes by any means. I have spent most of my life as a get the basics gal, because we had a lot of little feet to cover. I have to admit I actually am not only in favor of buying the shoes but quite enjoy the spring that a blingy new pair of soles adds to my step. This time I was buying lipstick so we are moving our way from our feet, past our hearts and up into our head space where our lips reside. The color of my lips always makes them disappear; like God couldn’t decide so he said, “hey neutral works”! During the summer months I actually get quite tan, this makes my lips vanish and dry too. This is an odd combo of my heritage and a lot of farm/ yard work. One summer I had a snippy soccer mom once mention to me how dark my skin was followed by “I wish I had all that extra time to sunbath”. My thoughts on her remark are another blog entirely, one which might need censoring. Anyone who knows me well is aware of the painful issue I have with chickens and squirrels interrupting my thoughts. Let’s just pretend her comment was an “Oh no! She did not just say that to me” and get back to lipstick and tans. I am going to fast forward to this summer. Thirty years of marriage, darker skin & I have dry lips that now do not even appear to be on my face because they blend in. We are getting ready for a beach vacation to celebrate our life together thus far. Seriously, I did not want to look back at photos and think “oh shit I really should have packed my lips”! My friends are raving about the new lip stains and how they stay on “like forevvvvver”. What better time to try staining my face…. Uh, Um lips. I do my research (ask everyone who has great lips). I bite the bullet and spring for a painfully expensive “lip set”. This pricey lip set consists of: a color … I figured my lips would be permanently this color for all eternity, a great gloss that you reapply every 10 minutes and a “oops stick” that I guess erases your lips if they betray you. I’ve never used the “oops stick” my lips are brutally honest; so bluntly so that even the “oops stick” probably couldn’t erase the truth bombs I’ve dropped. Remember the chickens & squirrels? They often prompt me. I have an unnatural ability to notice everything and usually point these things out. I buy the lip set and am ready to take on life and snarky soccer moms. I have my new lips (in 3 tiny tubes)… I am set for the summer and beyond. My lips are now leading my way in life. In all honesty I love this stuff; every woman should have some. I love it so much that I decided I needed another set…minus the “oops stick” I still haven’t found a use for that (Maybe I’ll give it to my soccer mom friend this summer). I don’t usually splurge on these sorts of things as we have a large family, I work from home most days. I convince myself how long the last one lasted and how great it was. Yup I’m justified! I go to get my pout some new color. I am not as tan as I was at my last purchase, so I am reluctant to pick out a shade as bright as I got last summer

. Mind you I’ve been wearing that shade up to this morning. I was clearly sporting my summer shit/shade when I walked in to buy the new stuff. Here is where the fail came into play. The chickens and squirrels said go bright, go crazy, be fun and bold. My old mom self said what if my lips scare off my family or what if my friends are like “what the hell was she thinking” or some soccer mom says “Wow I wish my lips looked like, Harley’s bar & grill come and get it beer sign”. That was all the reasoning I needed to pick out a nice blush rose color; very tame, very soft, no statement here, very real. I take it home. I put lip color on every day (almost) just to justify my business on top and pj’s on the bottom life style and look damn good doing it. This is where my lesson comes. I always try to have some sort of a moral to my blogs. If you are going to buy the lip stain and I mean lip stain not just cheap lipstick (like double to quadruple the investment is needed here) make sure you can actually see the flipping color!!!! This lesson applies to everything in life. Go bold or go home. If you are going to make an investment in yourself do it right. Grab the bright, sparkling, vibrant choice. Effort is wasted if you go in half invested or play it safe all the time. Millions of people around the world are right now praying for one more opportunity to have no regrets wishing they had bought a lip stain that was lasting and bright and made a difference. They wish they had chosen the color that really “showed up” for the party. Don’t be left having to spend resources revisiting things you’ve already done because you didn’t do it right the first time. Choose the bright lip stain; I am going back this week to get a life threateningly awesome color that will scare the crap out of squirrels and chickens alike (I need fewer of their distractions). Buy the great shoes; not just the ok ones. You will wear the great things more often and feel better doing it. Nobody wants to show up in the dress everyone else has on. You do yourself & the world no favors by showing up small. Seize the moment and for God’s sake make your vibrant, “what makes you” color(s) shine brightly! You can wish you had or be glad you did! © Micheline Edwards 2018

Holy Water

It is Tuesday of Holy week as I sit here enjoying my coffee I am gazing out the window at the spring rain falling down. My thoughts are of my grandmother and parents telling me during my childhood that much of Holy week is rainy and that it always rains or is overcast on Good Friday as the world mourns and cleanses itself for the coming of Easter. It does seem that way. In fact many of the Easters I remember were overcast or had showers very early that made way for beautiful sunlight to follow. I remember the sunrise the morning after my confirmation well. It was cold and drizzly as we made it home from Mass that Saturday night. I woke up in the same room with the same morning light that always came in through my bedroom windows. That morning it was very focused across the bed where I was still laying (barely awake). I squinted but felt the need to stare into and absorb this light. Most people who know me well know that bright lights in the morning and I are not a match. It was a blindingly pure white light, extraordinarily bright yet very comforting. I remember laying there in bed with all kinds of thoughts in my head and an extreme moment of peace rushed over me before I got up to get ready for the day. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this very private or odd moment to anyone till now. As we enter Holy week we are beckoned as Christians to observe and fall into a moment in our lives of respect, mourning and even humble gratitude for our Lord. It would totally make sense that the weather might reflect this somber time during the year. This morning I decided to look into the matter. According to what I found online most sources claim that rain always falling on Good Friday is a myth. Some sources site that it is springtime; it’s supposed to rain. However, I did find even more sources that explained this legend as a reflection of the intense faith that we have. One psychologically based source reported that they felt that it rained no more or no less during Holy week or on Good Friday. This source thought that our minds and our intense belief only allow us to remember the rain because it is part of our sadness this week. I couldn’t find a source that confirmed nor denied, with any verifiable facts if the rain legend was true or not. As for me & my family I firmly believe that there is always rain during this week every year. As far back as I can remember it always seems to rain or be very overcast during at least a small part of Good Friday. So as I sit here this morning with the spring rain falling during Holy week, I contemplate the reason for the rain. Not that I always question the weather, however we do live in Missouri so it is plausible to at least pass judgement on the weather at any given time. No, I sit here with my coffee watching the rain cleanse & rejuvenate the world, allowing it to be a peaceful but somber and thought provoking time of reflection much like that moment of sunlight after my confirmation many, many years ago. Is the rain a sign from the heavens to His people? Maybe if you believe. Micheline Edwards©2018