A wedding wish..today and always.

Today is the beginning of your two becoming one. While you will both remain independent, smart, funny and able to make your own decisions you will also be embarking on a new venture. This adventure isn’t totally new; hopefully you have been training for it your whole life even if you were unaware. This is the voyage of a life time one that will come easily at times and be the hardest thing you’ve had to do at other times. For some it is the first realization that everything you do will ultimately affect another. For others this may be a repeated attempt to be the half of a whole that is one solid piece yet has separate thoughts, ideas and emotions. This trip begins before the “I do” and ends as you breathe your last breath. Marriage is not a party, but there will be some. Marriage is the act of surrendering yourself to another with careful and deliberate abandonment. It is not a selfish act but one where your heart should be in a constant state of sacrifice. To love someone is to give to another. Being ready to lay down your all for someone is not something taken lightly but on this adventure it will be the only way to continue your trip. When your spouse cries, loves, laughs, hurts your empathy and compassion for that will be insurmountable and like a rock. Our abilities to give are often easy. To be a giver you must also allow yourself to be a receiver. There is energy flow like the ocean tide that comes and goes; sometimes you gift and sometimes you receive. Like the water you are one fluid being, picking up bits and pieces and leaving some behind and all the while in motion. While it is with great joy you enter into this union and with your heavenly father as witness and a guide. Your wedding day is the beginning of the journey. May you travel with a servant’s heart ready to lay down your all for each other and with this shared load your adventure will be one of greatness. Many blessings. ~Micheline Edwards White Picket Fences 2015 ~In your lives you must think and act like Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:5 “Our modern culture teaches us to always fight and look out for number one. On this day remember that your one is more and to act with a servants heart as we are called to do and to lay aside yourself to others. In this you will find great joy” http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=servant+song&FORM=VIRE9#view=detail&mid=8036E63D1AC7B27283248036E63D1AC7B2728324 "Live with passion, love without surrender"

Happy mother's day, week, year....lifetime

What a bittersweet week. Twenty seven years (and one week) ago, my husband and I were welcoming our daughter into the world. Just this week she welcomed her first child. Our daughter was two months early and our grandson almost two weeks late. Both mommas labored for over 48hrs and both babies spent a time in a NICU. One baby was for observation and the other fighting for her life. Both are doing great and are healthy today. Tomorrow I am leaving to meet our new grandson. I am flying across the country at the same time that my oldest son will be leaving (on his son’s 6th birthday) to fly across the world. I will be back in a week; he will be back in a year. As the week comes to a close the world will be celebrating Mother’s Day. Our daughter was always my Mother’s Day baby. It will be a blessing to be spending a portion of my daughters first Mother’s Day with her. I also realized along with the joy of sharing a first Mother’s Day; I will also most likely be missing my mother’s last. Life often hands us the most delicate situations. This week my emotions have been on extreme highs and lows. All of this roller coaster is centered around being a mother. To all of you mothers out there and to everyone who has a mother (you know you do) cherish her and let her know how much you love her. A woman’s heart is really never light once she becomes a mother; as she carries the weight of so many other people within her soul. “Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend into heaven, you are there. If I make my bed in hell, you are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.” ~Psalm 139: 7-10 Every mother knows that like Gods presence even though you cannot see or hear or even feel her physical being with you, you know that as long as you are; she is always with you. To all the mothers who rejoice in their children’s joys and grieve when their hearts are sad. To all the mothers who feel pain when their child hurts & burst with happiness at every accomplishment. To all the mothers with children here with them and to those whose children are angels among us. To every mother who has sat up all night worrying or filling Christmas stockings. To all of you who spend hours, days, weeks, month and years of your life devoted to your children. To all of you, whoever you may be Happy Happy Mother’s Day!

April Fool's Day...

April fool’s day is over, it came and went without a sound in our home this year. I thought about it briefly but that is as far as it went. Goodness, I couldn't even come up with a catchy title for this blog entry.The past few months have been such a blur caring for my parents and trying to keep things going for our family. As long as I remember my parents always loved April fool’s day and would always play jokes on each other and all of the kids. One of the first I remember was the morning dad came in from feeding. My brother, sister and I were all eating breakfast and getting ready for school. Dad announces that mom’s horse had just foaled. Mom laughed; replied, "April fools" and went about her business. Dad washed up and sat down and asked if she had seen the colt yet? Mom was just humoring dad as she went to the window. We kids watched as mom's jaw dropped. Her favorite horse had a beautiful colt running around in the pen as she glanced out. I always played some kind of prank on my kids or my mom. Usually the pranks on my mom involved a call in some foreign accent telling her she had won the big prize. Surprisingly enough I found that if I waited a couple of years between these calls she always fell for it. She either forgot or at least played along very well. My favorite April fool’s joke was elaborately planned and flawlessly executed. I started in September. I created a fictitious family or well…some long lost friends. Anyone who knows my parents knows that they seldom ever admit that they don’t know something or someone. The plan was perfect! I wrote them a series of letters over several months including a family Christmas letter complete with all the family drama and of course a darling set of twins. I went on and on in each letter about how I missed seeing them and couldn’t wait till our RV trip would bring us in spring to Missouri so we could stop in to see them. Each letter was then given to my father in law who loves a good prank as well. My father in law travels a lot and mailed each and every letter from a different zip code all over the U.S. The first letters came; mom and dad didn’t mention them. By Christmas they were telling us all about their good friends and all of their travels. This was getting better than I had imagined. It was getting harder and harder to contain my giggles and keep a poker face as February rolled around. Dad was now confiding to a few that he wasn’t sure he remembered these people. Maybe they were mom’s friends, she sure seemed to know them. By March, mom was starting to showing signs of panic as she realized dad couldn’t figure out who they were and they were now on their way to come visit for a week! One day about the last week in March I paid mom a planned visit. I asked her how she knew these people (who were consuming every conversation at this point). They seemed so excited to see her. Mom sat there for a bit very quietly. She leaned across the table and whispered, “Honey, I can’t tell your father. I don’t know who the hell these people are.” Right there the prank had actually hit its high and my adrenaline was over the top. I took a deep breath, collected my poker face and said “Hmmmm…..” Yes, that was the best I could do. Then I told her I would see if I could look them up on the computer for her. She said that would be nice because she didn’t want some strangers just showing up parking in their yard and eating their food! On April 1st at 9am sharp, I called my mom. In one of my best northeastern accents, I told her I was her long lost friend and that we would be there in an hour (of course the phone cut out after this). I dressed the kids showed up at my parents with a box of donuts with a large manila envelope on top. As my parents opened the envelope there was another envelope from their “friends”. Inside it read, “April fools”. My parents talked about this for years and even laughed at many holiday meals with my father in law about his part in this prank to end all pranks. This year was different. I ran my errands. The family was busy. I got home to clean and the pressure washer wouldn’t start. I was tired and decided to go see mom and do some grocery shopping for Easter Sunday. I went out and cut several spring flowers for mom and went to the retirement home. As I entered mom’s room she was sleeping. I gave her a kiss and she reached up to smell the flowers. We talked as I arranged the flowers and watered them. As I sat there my mind wandered to what day it was. I told mom and suggested that we play a joke on someone. She agreed that maybe we should tell her nurses that when I came in she was levitating. I laughed and said sure why not. Then she looked at me very seriously and said no honey we shouldn’t tell them that. What if they believe it? I giggled and she again looked at me and said very seriously “No… if they think I can do that they’ll put me away”. At that I stopped took her hand and agreed to not play our joke. I took note in my heart that last year was the last of an era of family April fool's fun. A bit sad that her mind was not as clear anymore and that she might be forgetting all the fun we'd had in the past; I just read to her for a while. As I was leaving she asked me to take her outside for a bit, it was such a beautiful day. As we rolled past the nurse’s station, someone asked her where she was headed. She promptly answered, "Out to meet up with my old friends in the RV, they’ve been writing to me for months now". I laughed so hard I am sure they all thought mom’s dementia was over the top as we went outside. On the patio area she looked at me, smiled slyly and said, “We sure played a joke on them didn’t we?” Yes mama, we did. Thank you for the April fool’s day smile. Micheline Edwards Copyright 2015 The photos are of my parents in Jan 2015 just before my mom fell and approx 51 years ago when they met and married. .

The One Dollar Christmas Challenge...(are you in?)

“In all the work you are doing, work the best you can. Work as though you were doing it for the Lord, not for people” ~ Colossians 3:23 You cannot change the world you say; but you can make a difference in someone’s day. This entry will be short but hopefully make a big impact. Everywhere we look, there are dollar stores, dollar menus, dollar sales and dollar bargins. Between now and Christmas I am challenging everyone to take at least one dollar (or more if you have it) and randomly change someone’s day with it. You can’t afford to feed the masses but you can buy a cup of coffee or a treat for a tired mom or worn out soul. A sandwich for the hungry, a bag of cough drops, a cup of tea for someone you see doesn't feel well. You can offer a child a dollar to help them with their Christmas shopping. Take a stranger a candy bar. Whatever you feel is right in the moment. Try to pick the random and unsuspecting. You might even find this sort of challenge addicting maybe continue throughout the year. Maybe you have twenty dollars (or more) you could spread cheer to twenty people or you could pay for someone’s groceries, gas or Christmas gifts. I challenge everyone to create a dollar sensation of their own at least once between now and Christmas. (I would love to know how you spent your dollar please share here on the blog comments). So what will be on your "Dollar Menu" today? “Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels”. ~ Hebrews 13:2 Copyright 2014 Micheline Edwards

Satisfaction Guaranteed

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you: I will take your heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” ~ Ezekiel 36:26 “I just spent the afternoon cleaning & baking” (“must be nice”) , “I would love to help with that” (“ I would but I’ve got a life”), “ I just had my best morning at the gym” (“someone has too much spare time”), “look what I did!!!” (“When I retire”), “Would you like to go to lunch?” (“no money, not working; this mommy puts her kiddos first”; snicker, snicker). Why do we as women do these things to each other: why are we so snide? I too have been guilty and probably will be again. In the moment when a friend expresses joy: maybe we haven’t quite had a stellar day, week or month our first response is to sarcastically tear down the happiness of someone else. Why can’t we embrace that a friend got to spend the day baking, wants to help, got to work out, did something wonderful or wants to spend time with us? I guess we are on a deeper level, usually happy for our friends. Why can’t our initial response be one of grace (I know THAT word again). Why can’t we just smile and say “awesome, way to go, I’d love too, please and thank you”. Because we are human, we want what we don’t/can’t have and we want what we see even if it never crossed our minds before that moment. Are we any better than our three year old self? I would like to think that 20, 30, 40, 50+ years of living and even being the recipient of such responses would have taught us to stop. Did you really sit around all day yesterday thinking “wow, I really wish I could spend all day baking and cleaning”? Probably on most days you did not. Did you actually want to go to lunch but it just wasn't in your budget? Or was there some other reason? Why would you word your response (and so quickly too; like we have hate waiting to roll off the tongue) so that it stings another? Jealously… Yes, I said it we are all jealous creatures despite our best efforts. We covet stuff, we emulate others and get angry when we are copied (flattery you say…phsst nobody likes it but we all do it). Why? Well partly because we are human and partly due to our need to fit in and to create images of how things should be in our perfect world. The world is rarely perfect and like the T.V. images we see and know are not real: often ‘the show” in our head is not either. It never occurs to us that our friend who spent the day cooking and cleaning was worn out and maybe she was stocking up meals for next week because her life wasn’t perfect either. When our friend says she cooked and cleaned all day; we see June Cleaver not a tired mom in a bath robe all day struggling with 3 kids and a part time job trying to get ahead. Maybe your friend did have a great day, we should be so grounded to rejoice in her achievement, alas most of the time we are not. We all want that perfect image we see in our head and when we hear something that sounds like someone else has it all together while we are struggling our first response is usually to tear them down. We are jealous, hurts to admit it doesn’t it? We covet our neighbors successes, we all want clean houses, the perfect daytime job (be it motherhood or corporate), time at the gym or to go to lunch, to volunteer and help others and to have a great meal on the table at the end of the day. When we fall short of our visions we become insecure and insecurity breeds contempt. With contempt and jealousy in our lives we are not gracious or thankful for our own world; all we see is greener pastures. This month is November, a time when most of us are going to say we are thankful for what we have. I am challenging my friends to not just say but to show their thankfulness. Be kind in your words; tell your friends (or those not your friends) how wonderful what they did really is. Tell someone how amazing it is that they are here, how beautiful they are or how valuable their time is. Hug someone, show support and kindness to each other. Tell your friend you are so happy for their accomplishments even if you didn’t reach your goal that day. Before you tear down your friend without thinking say “Wow, you are great I am so thankful for you”. Find your gracious side and it will come back to you in abundance. In my last post I wrote about using grace as a road to navigate life. Your road becomes gold when you do not steal from others but add to their journey. Micheline Edwards copyright 2014 “I have learned to be satisfied with the things I have and with everything that happens. I know how to live when I am poor and I know how to live when I have plenty. I have learned the secret of being happy at any time in everything that happens...I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength. ~Philippians 4:11-13

Motherhood (Parenthood), Tangles and Grace

Almost 30 years ago this week my life changed forever. Okay to be fair that actually occurred approximately nine months prior to being handed a tiny bundle. Becoming a parent happened during some moment of unsuspecting activity that unannounced to me at the time would forever continually change the way I viewed everything the rest of my life. This change in my status would steer every decision I would make; every dollar I would spend, every breath I took and quite frankly cause me to consider not just myself but how my actions would impact others in my life. I seriously underestimated that the steering wheel for life as I knew it was now on auto pilot but yet I would somehow be responsible even if I didn't purposely drive in to the storm. Like Mary who said "yes" to God, when he presented her with the proposition of motherhood. Mary could not have even imagined where her life was going. We as parents we have no idea what ride awaits us. I often find myself thinking about where I am in life and where I am going and sitting here in a tiny airport in Fargo North Dakota while waiting for a delayed flight gave me plenty of time to ponder this. Most of my journey so far has been largely made up of being a caregiver. Even as a teen I spent many hours doing childcare, driving siblings, shopping for or transporting my mother and then moving directly on to parenthood. Time spent on what I wanted vs what others needed was always a collision in my head; a set of compromises. Life is full of these instances at every turn (even if you are not a parent), learning to manage what you want out of life while still being gracious and caring for others thoughts, dreams and needs. Often our dreams are not met; the ideal visions in our minds are not what life deals us. So often in life we are driving along see a fork in the road and even with our best efforts to go one way; a higher power grabs our wheel and takes us another direction down an unknown dirt road. Dirt roads are messy; there is dust, noise, our hair gets blown into tangles and it can sometimes be boring. Sometimes there is a party at the end and often it is just a long drive with another turn coming. Often dirt roads are like life when we look back and the dust settles we realize that the ride was a beautiful drive and we wish we had driven slower and enjoyed the smells, the grit in our teeth and the breeze in our hair. I had the interesting privilege to attend a moms group this week. I use the words interesting because, I have attended many of these meetings over the years and this proved to be an interesting and enlightening experience. Interesting was a key word this time. This time I was simply a guest, a fly on the wall but with a voice. I was the mother who wasn't changing diapers, cleaning toys and struggling with identity. I sat there and listened to the voices in the room but was hearing myself as a younger mother. Hearing the struggles I often thought were due to my lack of options; yes moms often feel trapped even if they love their children. Hearing words that I would have uttered not so long ago. Sitting there I wanted to scream, to tell these young women to savor every mess they cleaned, every tear they wiped and to stop second guessing their choices and decisions. I wanted them to know that the dirt road they were on was messy but the best one they would ever drive on and that there would eventually be a turn. At that next turn there would still be great roads ahead but this was the BEST one, the slowest, dirtiest, most hair tangling one, that sometimes went on for days with no end in sight. I wanted them to drive slower and smell the air around them. I wanted them to see the gift of grace in the everyday; the good, the bad, the plans executed flawlessly as well as the failures. I realized over the years that while your visual of things doesn't always match up with what you get handed, there are no failures in life only lessons that allow us to discover grace. Grace isn't just the giving or the taking (or even the thanks we receive for a job well done) but it is the navigation system you use along the way. Grace is surely the gift of giving: but is also how you navigate not getting your way, receiving compensation or seeing the whole picture. It is undeniably your ability to move through life with a glad heart. I sat there at the round table that night and listened to these young mothers. I realized that my answers to the questions they were seeking truth in; were drastically different than they would have been when I in their respective places. My truth, my honest heart is to put grace above my wants or the vision in my mind of perfection and to be in the moment. My answers to them were to savor each moment, and every dent or tangle they receive along the way. God did not design us to be pictures of perfection but to be human. It is in our nature to question, have free will and we as well as those around us will fail or be questioned. Often we self-inflict. Young mothers and young fathers don't question who you are, what you are doing or how you arrived there. Enjoy the ride, learn from the past and leave no regrets. Be gracious in your pursuits of joy as everyone around you is on the same journey. Copyright 2014 Micheline Edwards

Giving Outward… So as I sit here looking out my kitchen window I realize just how fast the first part of our new year has flown by. We have already said our resolutions and most of us broken them and or started them over several times. We have looked for the ground hog and sent love to those we care about. As we begin the first week of March the Mardi gras celebrations and the parties that surround Fat Tuesday are in full swing. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. We are called to begin another Lenten journey which will end on Holy Thursday as we celebrate the Lords supper and His rising again on Easter. As a Catholic I am called as others in my faith to observe certain practices ranging from prayer, fasting, penance and attendance at certain Mass’ as well as the calling of us to partake in almsgiving. Over the years I have written several takes on this. Today as I observe the ones I love going through different things in their lives, some experiencing joy and others sorrow. I feel a calling of not only giving but sharing and change. A few weeks ago I had a non-Catholic friend make a reference about how she was in church where she thought she should be feeling the most secure with the problems facing her but yet she felt as though she could do nothing other than cry. “Why is it,” she asked, “where you feel as though you should be most secure you feel so alone?” I wanted to tell her that her feelings were not those of being alone but those like a small child often has when they break down with a parent or loved one. They were the feelings of being able to let your guard down around those who you feel the safest but these feeling are often very humbling as well. Those feelings she was having were the presence of our Lord when she needed him. Often when this occurs we do not see or feel it that way. At times we are all like the tired or ill child that causes strife to those who love him most. We are often left only with anger or sadness. As a Catholic we often spend time with Our Father alone or in groups but in silent prayer or petitions in a practice we call Adoration. It is a time that we go and sit alone with our thoughts and get to know God. We pray for intercession, thanks, peace and understanding. We search during these times to know Him at a deeper level. Usually during Lent our family practice is not to give up soda or coffee or to turn the TV off but to “give” for the 40 days preceding Easter. Our society leads us to believe that this is to “give up” and maybe even heavy our hearts with burden. I feel that we are not being asked to give up material objects or practices just to give away something or to do without. It is not just to give up but to “give outward”. We usually clean out closets and such and give to charities during this time but this year (and I will probably do this still). This year I feel a calling to “give outward” and lead. Tomorrow is day one of Lent and I haven’t decided my plan of execution yet, but God will provide me with a plan. The purpose of giving up during this time is to grow in Christ and leaving cheese off of my grilled sandwich just doesn't seem adequate. Maybe I will start by inviting a friend to Adoration. Maybe that friend goes regularly maybe not. Maybe that friend will be Catholic maybe not. Maybe that friend will go with an open mind and in the quietness of the church they will hear Gods voice. If they leave with their hearts open and their minds calm they will know He was there. What better way to give, than to help a friend or someone in need than to extend a hand as they humble themselves before Christ. How precious to receive the gift of hearing Gods voice and knowing He is there. Such a gift is grace and grace is the foundation for giving. In Lent this year, “let’s not give up but make our choices so that we may give outward to others” and become better than we have been and grow deeper in our relationship with Christ.......